Yep. I left a few days ago and now I'm back, it makes no sense. I realized that scratch is the only thing that doesn't give me anxiety. So yes, for now I am back, but I won't be here daily. I'll also explain what's going on.
So basically, I've been going through some really tough mental challenges, plus stress from quarantine and my parents. If you want to know more, here's a list. (btw, I don't want to sound like I'm looking for pity, I'm just letting you know what's going on) Anxiety: I've been at home alone a LOT with my little sister a lot, and I get severe anxiety about it. In fact, I get anxiety about pretty much everything. I have a disorder that you have all probably heard of called genetic anxiety. It basically causes me to have constant anxiety that can get really bad, and I can't rid of it because it's in my DNA. So, yeah. I've gotten anxiety the most lately over not being around people, having to practically parent my sister while she's being a jerk, trying to train my puppy and my school work Depression: As a normal pre-teen does, I have depression over nothing. I literally have no idea why I have depression or how it's triggered. All I know is that I have it and I don't know why. Mental Battles: I'm not gonna talk about this in detail because it's extremely personal, but some things include hating myself and everything I do, y'know, the basic stuff. Family: My family has been awful lately, not gonna lie. My parents have been really hard on me and blaming everything on me. It's difficult because I've had the whole world on my shoulders lately and have done a lot around the house but they don't care. I understand they have their struggles but they don't care about me so its difficult. My mom has been telling me that my anxiety is nothing compared to hers but she has no idea, and their both saying I'm lazy when all I do is work and my sister blames me for everything she does and gets me in trouble because my parents love her more and don't believe anything I say. I've been crying myself to sleep a lot lately and considered hurting myself, but I won't because that's not a good way to solve anything. I want to say thank you to all of you guys for your support. It really does mean a lot. I will try to post as much as possible so you guys have some content. Love you all <3
