Fallensky’s Dejection It had been a while since Fallensky had seen, or heard from- anyone. Not that he hadn’t spoken to his clan mates, but that he hadn’t felt the words, or believed in what he had told. He didn’t believe in what he said, wasn’t faithful in his mind. He couldn’t depend on himself to take care of anything, nor a whole clan. He had not reacted to any of the many deaths that had occurred, and only brushed it away, into the back of his thoughts, where he knew well enough, that they would not be brought up again, but were there permanently. His fur bristled, anxiety mingled in his whiskers, where they had always been, but not so apparent. His eyes were glazed over, something that was new, but not hard to adapt to. He felt as if a wave came crashing over him, but he never came back up for air. Fallensky let out a heavy sigh, and waited to inhale again for another few seconds. Silence lingered in the air as the moon shone above the sturdy camp. The moon felt like it was an apposing victim, judging his every move. Fallensky clenched his teeth, but let them go limp. He was out of words, out of breath, out of life. Everything he had ever worked for was gone. His role model, and teacher, gone in a blink of an eye. He heaved another sigh, and steadied himself. He took a moment to look around, wondering what had caused him to live here. To be born in a place like this. He suddenly was brought back to a recurring thought. ‘What is my purpose..?’ He suddenly thought back to that day he was pronounced deputy. He thought how he had been a rude, selfish, and mousebrained young cat, and how he had insulted Riddlestar and his ways. He had thought that only violence was the answer, that you were weak if you needed help. Fallensky suddenly came to a realization. Deputies help leaders. Leaders need help. Riddlestar was the strongest cat Fallensky knew, mentally and physically. Riddlestar had taught him so much, and Fallensky had thrown it all away. He suddenly understood. He knew why he was here, why he was born. Fallensky was born to help, and if that meant leading a clan, that’s what he had to do. He inhaled once more, and let his mouth relax into a smile. He understood.
ahah- why did i do this-
