hii,, er.. I feel really strange right now,, so I guess I kinda just wanted to try to write it all out. And I’m sorry,, I know this song is about someone..dying,, and that hasn’t happened,, but it reminds me of right now because well, I feel like I could so easily be happy right now. I mean, I’m starting high school in three months, I’ve made so many online friends on dis^ord (they’re really making me censor that? idek) recently, there are way more people to meet in my neighborhood now, it’s June so it’s almost summer and school is almost out and I could just go on for so long. But none of it... feels real. It feels like it’s still March, still my birthday in a week because none of this really happened and eventually I’m going to wake up. And I KNOW it’s June because it’s my dads birthday today but it just.... there’s no way.. People keep talking about how we might not start school normally in August.. But I don’t know if I‘ll be able to make it. I mean, I’m just losing my mind. And on top of all that my best best best friend is panicking because she thinks she likes me but she doesn’t want to deal with that and she can’t tell if she’s making it up and I just don’t know what to do about that because we were the most straight girl friends (lol) always saying ily and stuff and just so much and I just hope I didn’t lead her on but she doesn’t even want to like me and I don’t like her back so she wants to just forget about it but I just feel so bad and I don’t know I’m so tired of being stuck. It’s so dumb and it makes me sad because I can’t see her because she would get really sick if she were to get it because she has health problems and stuff and I just oh my god I’m losing my mind and I just wish I could cry my eyes out and everything would go back to normal and I would get to say goodbye to everyone that I’m never going to see again but I can’t. and none of it’s in my control. I’ve tried to be positive about this whole ordeal for so long but it’s just... all crumbling to pieces in front of my eyes.
