Please read... or don't I don't mind ;w; I've had a kinda rough day I guess but I also don't know. I don't know what I'm really feeling right now. I'm so excited, I'm starting to get more motivated, and I can't wait to make my art better! But, also, I see so many other people who are better than me, and thats just... discouraging? idk, they're just so great and sweet, and I love them all, but like I also am sad because I feel like my art isn't that great? Jeez I have no idea how to deal with this sooo yep here sorry for dumping this on you. I also am having some trouble with my friends irl, they always seem upset about something and I want them to be happy SO BAD, but then I never get time to try to make myself happy. So I end up just being unhappy, and I struggle with my self-image and my feelings... I also have a hyperactive adrenal gland, which can cause feelings of happiness, fear, physical and mental pain, sadness, etc. to be felt more intensely than most. I don't really care about my feelings though, and I try to be nice and I would never want to hurt anyone. Please tell me if I'm making you upset and I will leave you alone and apologize profusely. In conclusion, I'm confused and mentally exhausted. :')
Here's a poem I made: I wish I could get along with my own brain just keep working and helping and doing I can't focus. My thoughts are blurry and crowded yet silent, empty. My mind doesn't like me it brings up memories to spite me memories that embarrass and shame me they make me feel some are ok, most are bad and still this mind is my own this body is my own I'm supposed to control it so why do I hate it so much? Why can't we get along, help along, do along? I want to love it, embrace it because it's supposedly who I am. But I think it's more like WHAT I am. I don't feel accepting of this body this mind this personality. It doesn't want me Why should I love something that hates me? Why should I have to look in the mirror and like what I see? My soul may be pretty, but I can't tell because it's covered in tar the pollution of other's words and my own words or at least the words from my brain my mind my thoughts that should be on my side but they're not and I hate them and I hate me.
