You know what to do..
I lost a friend very good friend 18 days ago and I found out earlier today it hurts so much knowing that I could have been there to stop him I could have been there to prevent him I could have been a better friend I could have been there for him when he needed it but yet I wasn't and now look where it's got me I feel so bad not being able to change it I wish it was all a lie I wish this never have to happen not to him I wish he was still here sometimes I wonder what would happen if he never died I missed my opportunity to help him and I hate myself for it it hurts knowing that something so important to me someone who is so caring and nice just suddenly leaves from your world from existing it's hard when they tell you to forget them when they leave you so much to remember... You never know what happens Life Is Life and I have to deal with it... He was a great person and I'm glad I got to know him..I wish I was a better friend...But I guess I can't change the past and this is the price I pay for it... Edit July 25 2020 2:02 AM: even though he's been gone for a while I still miss him so much literally I feel that life is just being hell to me I don't know if things will change or get better but I just can't let go at all every time I think about him it makes me cry I wish I we're there to help him It was on the day he left this world I was four hours away FOUR HOURS AWAY AND I COULD HAVE STOPPED HIM BUT I JUST HAD TO GET OFF AND NOT TALK TO HIM AT ALL FOR THOES 18 DAYS AND I JUST DIDN'T TALK TO HIM AT ALL BUT MY DUMB SELF JUST WENT TO CHECK ON HIM 18 DAYS LATER AND HES JUST GONE......I miss you tray..it should have been me not him he was to yung ...He didn't deserve this..what did he do wrong... Edit: may 25 2021 10:58 am: it's been almost a year since this has happened can't believe it crazy isn't it? Still missing him a lot heh don't know what to right but still wish I could have done something
