-------------------- Code: @-NoahStella- Art: @-SpicedLatte- OC: Kava my current (maybe temporary, I might keep her) sona -------------------- Im so incredibly ashamed of who I am. Im a furry, thats what im ashamed of. All these people online talking about how weird furries are it makes me hate myself more. Online hate has never and will never effect me, except for online hate about being a furry. That is not the only thing though, I hate myself just because I think im gross, I dont like my body, I dont like the way I live, I dont like that Ive worn the same extremely comfortable trackies for the past 2 weeks without washing them (thats an exaggeration but its been a while) I just feel gross, my room is a mess and im stuck in my room with the lights of 90% of my life, the other 10% im crying over the school work I have to do like I just need to live better, its making me kinda depressed that I live in such a pigsty and I live such a boring, sad life right now. I would say don't ask if im okay but id be lying if i didnt want that because im a garbage human being who needs people to care about them and brag so people praise them to fuel their disgusting ego, talk to me if you want Im not judging you just myself, dont feel like not saying anything because you want me to feel that way about myself I'm trying to work on it. Update 6th of August- One of my teachers does this thing in the roll call question, it asks you how you feel on a scale of 1 to 5, idk why I put a 1 everyday I mean its how I really feel but I should have expected somebody to say something about it eventually. I should have just lied. Today while I joined the google meet to get help with a question she confronted me about about it (I lied and said I was just tired which is kind of a half lie) she then told me to put my laptop on night mode and didnt even help me with the rest of the question. My mum overheard me talking and was confused, I exlained it to her. Just now ahe was telling my dad about it since he had just got home from work and my mum said "They just care about peoples mental health during quarantine since some people are having a really hard time, you cant say a 1 because you hate her class," as if im not struggling mentally, I dont think my mum understands that people struggling mentally will lie and hide how they actually feel so you should be a little sensitive while saying things like that to somebody because I just feel put down, like my feelings arent okay since im just a kid. I would never tell my mum "Hey I think im a lil depressed," because she would respond "Oh YoU dOnT eVeN kNoW wHaT tHaT mEaNs !" anyways my mum makes me feel like this a lot I dont want to say this but shes honestly a (emphasis on A) reason im so dang depressed... jesus christ im edgy somebody call the heccin wambulance because of how darn sad I am
on hiatus If it looks like I used 3 different styles on this its because for some reason I just cant draw the same way lol
