Hey everyone... I'm back... And it should a joyous occasion. And maybe it still is, I don't know. For me, I'm just glad to be back on here. But, I took a really, really long hiatus, I know. And what's worse about it is that it was totally unannounced. Rest assured, I've been just fine. I just really needed a break, and a change of scenery for a while. It was no one's fault but my own that I disappeared like that. The TL;DR of it is, I lost my interest in animating, coding, voice-acting... I overworked myself so hard with animation that I just really don't enjoy it anymore, and it was starting to poison my love of drawing and writing. I still have not gotten those back completely, but I am working on it. However, my first ever bouts of artist's and writer's block had also been what I'm hoping will be some of my worst, and that I won't have to deal with that again once I really let animation slide. Long story short, thanks to both OCD and procrastination and just honestly losing interest in animating, I kept missing deadlines and getting more and more stressed out, and I was rushing out work that I felt was in poor quality and quantity, even if others didn't think so. That, and just being a bit too distracted by real life in general, led me away from Scratch for a while. And when I wanted to come back to Scratch, I remembered my stress around animating, and I was also sad and angry about the whole corona situation (which, don't get me wrong, I still am, but have gotten more used to it now). I just didn't really have the enthusiasm to focus on coming back, and more and more time slipped away every day without me even realizing it. Time I could've been spending with you guys. Luckily, now that I've reevaluated which hobbies are most important to me, so that I don't get so exhausted, I have all the time in the world to spend with you all now, if you'll have me back again. That's not entirely the whole story, though. Just the biggest main parts. I tried to write down all of my thoughts and everything that I've been doing and what went on. I tried to keep it short and palatable, but it was impossible. I tried to cut down on the whole thing, but I always felt like I was throwing out important parts. So I kept it at full length, but it wouldn't fit in the Scratch project description boxes, and using a studio description obviously wouldn't even be worth trying either for the same reasons. I tried to put the text in the actual project itself, but that was too small of any area to fit anything into well, either, sooooo... I'm not happy about this, but this was the next best thing that I could do... I really wanted to be able to just post the whole thing on Scratch so that it would be most easily accessible, but this is the best I can do to get my point across. Here is everything that I have to say. Everything here is of relevance and importance. I probably didn't need to write this whole thing, but I felt that it was only right to address to you guys the reasons as to why I've been gone for so long. https://sta.sh/016tthfzo5bj (Also, I don't know if it's just my computer, but a lot of the punctuation in that is showing up as question mark symbols? I'm hoping it doesn't do that for you guys, but I have my doubts.) If you can, please do read it. I put a lot of energy and thought into it, and it would really mean a ton to me. You don't have to read any of this if you don't have the time to. Likewise, you don't have to read any of this if you don't want to. I don't blame you if you don't. I'll still consider you my friends either way. It's a really really long thing, I know, maybe unnecessarily so, and I've probably already inconvenienced you all enough by disappearing the way that I did. I realize that I sound so stiff and serious in this, and I don't mean to be. X'D It's probably a bit much, honestly. But it just felt necessary. I guess? I definitely won't always be like that, though. I just need to get some things off my chest first. So anyway... I don't know what else to say here... I hope and would really appreciate it if you'll read my explanation/apology, and plans for the future, and consider what I have to say, and not think I'm too silly for going to these lengths to gain your forgiveness and trust. ;') You're still amazing friends to me.
Credits: Art by me. Character (Amber) belongs to me. Art made with MS Paint, Corel Painter 2018, Microsoft Powerpoint, and Wacom Intuos 3 drawing tablet. Song is You Are the Reason by Calum Scott, thanks to @Wolf2379. Notes: Also, fun fact about the art... The spring crocuses on Amber's head, and the blue hyacinths in the background represent guilt, remorse, and apology. I've gotten pretty into flower symbolism now, so I thought it might help.
