so. today, september 5th, 2020, marks the 6-year anniversary since i joined scratch. since i've been using this website, i've made a lot of big vague plans for anniversary projects and never went through with any of them. today, though, it snuck up on me. i had forgotten entirely, and i figured i might as well make the culmination of these six years count for something, even if it's something small. so let's talk. about me. who i am, and how we got here. my name is juliet. my friends call me bee or ellis or syl. i use they/them pronouns, i'm fifteen years old, my birthday is on november 27th, i'm neurodivergent, i'm enfp and 2w3, i'm a genderfluid lesbian and an artist. that's about as much identity as you can put on paper. i joined scratch on september 5th, 2014, to make a comment on a warrior cats game. (i never got to beat that game when i was a kid, but i went back and finished it recently in one sitting. that feels symbolic, but i'm not going to think about it too hard.) i picked a username from a 3rd grade inside joke, made a few projects and got so excited about being able to create things that people could see and interact with that it was almost all i did for a few years. this was the first time i ever had a platform with followers online. i didn't have many, and i still don't, but numbers are numbers. as a kid, 100 followers felt unattainable, and yet i reached it. here before anywhere else. the other thing you should know about me and my time here is that i am a mentally ill person. i have attention deficit disorder, clinical depression, and generalized anxiety disorder. these are parts of my life and always have been. i am recovering with the ones that are recoverable, but i will always be neurodivergent, and that is something that will affect me for the rest of my life. when i joined this site, i was hyperdependent on the internet. i had no way to communicate with friends, certainly no friends that shared my interests. i spent all my time online. when i found a way for me to make my mark while doing it, i took to it like a fish to water. that was the status quo for a long time. i spent all my time on this site. eventually, i got older. a lot older. and i stopped being so active on it. i moved to parts of the internet for people who were, quite simply, older than the demographic on this site. why is this important? why am i telling you all of this? i know you probably don't care. but i want to explain something. i've grown in these six years. i've grown a lot. i'm recovering from my depression, and i'm older and i'm smarter and i understand myself better than young me ever did. and i'm happier. genuinely, so much happier. and as a kid, i didn't think i would ever be. six years is a long time. longer than i really thought i would be around here. but i still am. i check in at least once a week, post art every few months. i owe a lot to here. i'm going to continue doing that for now. at some point, i'm sure the posts will slow down and eventually stop. that's the way all of these things go. maybe someday, long after i've dropped this site, i'll come back and see what changed. in two months, it's going to be my sixteenth birthday. that's longer than i ever thought i'd stick with anything. i'm eternally grateful to this site, and all the people i met through it. i'm grateful to jude, freeman, flick, ace, luke, des, grz, 8, jake, slep, sa, tim, geese, lumi, styx, bev, tiff, red, rye, mac, camden, dot, mylea, hy, jes, and everyone else who has ever made my time on the internet even a shred of worthwhile. i owe so much to everyone whose names i've said, and all my love goes out to them. and it goes out to you, too. for sticking with me for however long you have, for listening to my admittedly very preachy garbage. thank you for dropping by even once. i love you, and i value you. for now, that's all i have to say. i hope these next 6 years are just as bright as the last. goodbye, with love.
