~ if you're reading this you're probably like "bruh haven't you come out already? stop being gayer dangit!" well yes, i have came out, but after a while the label "pansexual" or "panromantic" or whatever in the world of peters big mac i was did not feel right to me. i went through months and months reading labels, venting, checking out girls n boys, and now i finally came to realization i don't have the attraction to boys anymore. why? i just feel so awkward being in a relationship with them, and literally anything they do makes me cringe. (if you're a guy friend and reading this, nono not you, if it was you then i wouldn't have let you even speak to me. now don't come and beat me up i promise it's not you-) also just with so many boys abusing their gfs and abusing sgurd <- (read that backwards) it made me scared to have a bf when i'm older. girls can do the same thing but i feel way less scared with a girl than a boy, my perspective of that is really hard to explain but don't get mad at me for it. i find boys cute, i sometimes feel slightly attracted to boys, but the thing is the chance of me ever dating one again is so low that i decided to become lesbian, i feel way more comfortable as lesbian. girls don't make me feel awkward, girls don't scare me, i literally don't cringe at all with girls. i mean it had to have been kinda obvious, when i was younger i would play as a boy character in games just to be able to date girls lol- i realized after a while i was convincing myself i liked most boys cause they were cute, and i didn't actually want to be in a relationship with them. but it took me 2 relationships with boys and 3 times going back to my ex to realize that's what i was doing. everyone was suspecting i'm lesbian anyways:,) if you're a friend of mine you probably had to listen to months and months of me venting and i thank you alot for that, believe me. it was so stressing;; i'm not sure if me being lesbian is final, but it feels right for me. i'm still young, i have years and years of sexualities to try out. it could change anytime. but for now, peter looked at me and said "thou is a homo." thanks for listening to my ramble, now i shall go die. i say now too much. ~ ~ ahahaha i forgot to add in anti's heart again oops- this is my first time drawing from references so sorry if it looks wonky, i'm trying to learn new styles hh art; @KhandyShop song; girls - girl in red (turned the pitch down) ~
