Which Hoyle Character Are You?

Instructions

Introducing the project you never knew you needed, featuring the iconic characters of— What? You say you've never played Hoyle Board Games? Come on, you must've at least played the timeless classic, Hoyle Card Games. No? You haven't even HEARD of them, you say? Well. Gather round, then, for I am the Hoyle evangelist, and I shall teach you the ways of Hoyle... First I should probably give you some instructions for the quiz. Essentially you tap on things, but that's not important right now. What's important is making sure you are informed. Hoyle Board Games is a series of video games produced mostly for PC in which you play board games (or card games, in the case of its sister series Hoyle Card Games). That, however, is only a crude description, showing a mere fraction of the whole picture. Hoyle, while its featured games were classics in their own right, was elevated to legendary status with its excellent cast of quirky and charismatic characters. You come to Hoyle to play checkers, but you stay to play checkers with Jasper, Marvin, and Roswell. In the days before open-world blockbuster games, Hoyle broke new ground with its implementation of voice acting on a scale hitherto unheard of. Each of its characters had a unique voice, with dozens of lines reacting to different in-game situations. Back then, there was none of this 8K 120FPS nonsense, so games actually had to be fun to attract attention—and with its charming NPCs and timeless games, Hoyle fit the bill. Unfortunately, the tale of Hoyle was doomed to end in tragedy. The original developer of the series, Sierra Entertainment, facing bankruptcy after an accounting scandal, was forced to sell the rights to the Hoyle franchise. Its new owner, Encore Software, continued making Hoyle games for a few years, but it had its own financial troubles, and eventually it, too, shut down. What I'm saying here is that Hoyle got robbed. A fantastic game series was destroyed through no fault of its own. I don't know who, if anyone, has the rights at this point, but I'm petitioning for a new Hoyle game to be released on consoles within the next decade. If it doesn't happen, I will have officially lost my faith in humanity. Signing off, @TheBurlyCoconut