INSTRUCTIONS: If you are reading this aloud, do it in a Darth Vader voice. (It's from Darth Vader's point of view.) If you are reading this in your mind, picture it in a Darth Vader voice. Note: Darth Sidious is another name for Emperor Palpatine, in case you do not recognize the name. FYI: It will be funnier if you know/have heard the original poem. I wrote this myself, I hope you like it! 'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS 'Twas the night before Christmas, When all through the Death Star, Not a creature was stirring, Not even a mouse droid. The stockings were hung by the garbage chute with care, In hopes that Darth Sidious soon would be there. The stormtroopers were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of new blasters danced in their heads. And Tarkin in his kerchief, and I in my cape, Had just settled down for a long winter's nap. When out in space there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew really fast, Like a gun firing a speedy blast. The Death Star laser, charging, shone on the dark grey Of the Death Star, all decorated for Christmas Day. Then, what to my helmet-concealed eyes should appear, But an Imperial Shuttle, and eight Imperial Guards. With an ugly old driver, so evil and hideous, I knew in a moment it must be Darth Sidious. More rapid than A-wings, his shuttle, it came, And he whistled, and shouted the royal guards' names(this part will be funnier if you know the various types of stormtroopers): "Now, Stormy! Now, Snowy! Now, Sandy and Cloney! On, Rangey! On, Sithy! On, Muddy and Darky! To the top of the reactor! To the side of the trench! Now, dash away! Zoom away! Fly away all!" As a porg that before the wild sea spray flies, When it takes to the air, when it takes to the skies, To the top of the Death Star, the shuttle, it flew, Filled with new blasters, and Darth Sidious, too. And then in a twinkling, I heard from above The stomping and pounding of each royal guard. As I drew in my head, and was turning around, Down the garbage chute Darth Sidious came with a bound. He was dressed in a robe, from his head to his foot, And his robe was all tarnished with garbagey soot. A bundle of blasters he'd flung on his back, And he looked like a scavenger just opening his pack. His eyes how yellow! His face how frightening, As if he'd gotten zapped with his own Force lightning. His droll little mouth, full of yellow teeth, And the hood that encircled his head like a wreath. He was chubby and plump, your average villain, And I laughed when I saw him, though I see him so often. His usual demeanor and the look in his eye, Let me know, as Yoda would say, 'Okay, am I'. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, And filled the troopers' stockings, then turned with a jerk. And raising two withered fingers to plug his nose, And giving a nod, up the garbage chute he rose. He sprang to his shuttle, and dusted himself off, And away it flew, awaking Grand Moff. And I heard Sidious exclaim as he flew out of sight, "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night." I hope you liked it, guys! Please share this with your family and friends, and I wish you all an early Merry Christmas!
PLEASE READ THE WHOLE DESCRIPTION ABOVE! I wrote this poem myself. I basically changed most of the lines to be Star Wars-themed. I also drew the picture in the project. If you can't tell what it is, it's Darth Vader watching Darth Sidious fill the stormtroopers' stockings. (Grand Moff Tarkin is in the background sleeping in his bed.)
