okay I love this design?? so much?? and I thought it was about time I posted an actualy project so here we are instructions - green flag to look at the main piece, press space to look at some doodles I drew of this guy & some notes about his character. if you're looking at the doodles, you can use the right arrow to go to blown-up, text versions of the captions so you can read em. click the x to exit out of the doodles. bio - Name: Lux Gender & Pronouns: Male, he/him Species: Shiba Inu Personality/Backstory: Lux is outgoing and friendly. He loves talking to people and getting to know all of their unique and varrieing stories. He just loves folks in general, really: what they are, who they could be, what their life story is. He thinks others' lives are fascinating and spends time dreaming up what the strangers he sees briefly on the streets' lives could be like. Even though he's very friendly and it seems like he loves socializing, he also worries about what others think of him. His love of people comes with insecurity; often he will flash back to conversations he's had before and think about what he should've said, cringe at what he'd done wrong. He's not very confident around others but doesn't show it. This combination of being socially anxious but loving socializing is a hard one to live with and, for a while, caused Lux's self confidence and mental health to be very low. He didn't like himself for a long time, he didn't think he was as interesting as his friends or family. He was too dependent on people, too; for a few years he was in a very toxic relationship that made his then very low self confidence even lower. He didn't like himself then, or any of his interests. He was having a hard time expressing what he liked without getting anxious, as well as talking about his wants and needs. He was in a very dark place. And he probably would've stayed there, if not for him finding his love of theatre. Lux had always wanted to try acting. He was fascinated with people and their stories, after all; pretending to be those people sounded amazing. He signed up for an acting class one day on a whim, thinking that he had nothing else to lose. The people enrolled in the acting class were pretty wonderful. They were all fascinating and most of them had tons of experience in acting. Lux felt strange being the least experienced of the class, but they said he was doing fine- for a beginner. He worried that he was holding the group back because of his inexperience, that he shouldn't have gone to the class. But he loved acting and he thought dropping out would cause too much drama so he stayed, at least until he could ask the director, Ms. Jam, about it. Ms. Jam was interesting, to say the least. She was short - her being a Corgi pretty much gaurenteed that - but she was fiesty. She would yell instructions to the acting class like they were training for the army: "Right Stage! No, the other right! Do it correctly, do you want to mess that up when we're performing in front of an audience?"; "DO YOU WANT HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE TO SEE YOU HUMILATE YOURSELF BY BREAKING CHARCTER???". She wore a small pair of oval-shaped glasses on her nose that were tinted red-pink, almost the color of strawberry jam. That, and her spilling jam on herself and not noticing for a whole class session, earned her the nickname Ms. Jam. Lux wasn't there when she was given that nickname (another class, years ago, had given it to her), and all of the other students in the class didn't know her as anything but Ms. Jam, too. It was an inside joke between the class to call Ms. Jam other names that they thought might be her real one and see how Ms. Jam would react- so far none of the names had gotten any more than an eye roll. Yeah, in Lux's opinion, Ms. Jam was kind of scary. That's why he was puting off seeing her to ask about the class for a short- well, maybe only kind of short- okay, long, amount of time. He couldn't stop thinking that he would mess up and she would yell at him and she'd be dissapointed. It was irrational, but with the mental state he was in, Lux couldn't see that it was. One day Ms. Jam asked Lux to see her after class. She was going to ask him about something to do with where he was standing on the stage- just to clarify and give him advice. Lux, however, thought that she was going to completley call him out and say how his acting was bad and she wanted him to quit the class because he was holding back the group; that possibility made much more sense in his socially-anxious brain. Before Ms. Jam could say a word, Lux blurted out, "I know you want me to quit the class, you don't have to tell me! I can quit, I know I've been hold- holding everyone.. back." He trailed off at the end of his sentence, fiddling around, unable to stand still. Ms. Jam was shocked by what Lux said. She immidietly told him that that's not what he meant, why did he think that?
(continued from Instructions): While they were talking, Lux confessed all his worries about being in the acting group. He had no one else to turn to and Ms. Jam was listening to him, at least. After he finished, Ms. Jam stood there for a while, silent. After a long few seconds she said, "I used to struggle with the same thing." ** Lux is doing much better now. He loves his theater group and all the lovely people in it, but especially the director of the group, Ms. Jam. After he opened up to her about his struggles with social anxiety, she shared about her simular problems. She offered him support and got him to sign up for therepy. They talked many times after that, Lux talking about his issues, Ms. Jam sharing advice. With the help of Ms. Jam's and his theripist's support, he grew more and more confident. His acting skills also got better, too. After the acting class he signed up for ended, he immiedietly enrolled in the next available one. He found some friends in the next class, and thus he found a community of supportive, loving people. Now he's much better at acting, though definitley is not perfect, and particapates in actual plays now that are hosted by the theater that he takes the acting classes in. Ms. Jam also helped teach him a wonderful thing she likes to call "The Art of Sarcasm". Sarcasm is what it's commonly known as, but Ms. Jam uses it so often that she ironically considers it an art form. Lux is now confident enough to be sarcastic now, and with the added bonous of being sarcastic *with skill* that he learned from Ms. Jam. He also has the confidence to joke around and not hide all the playful, sarcastic comments he comes up with. He also is getting better at expressing his interests, which he has a lot of, most of them being random. Don't be fooled, he's not perfect. He still gets anxious sometimes, and he still loves people and their stories a bit too much, like before. But he's trying to take care of himself now, be more independent. It's a long, working process. He's better than he was before, but he's always changing, always learning. Now, Lux is more of a nerdy theatre kid than a secretly insecure mess, but he's still kind of a mess- just a wonderful one. "I'm learning to accept me, mess and all... wow that sounds inspiring," he once said, reflecting on himself and accidentally saying a bit of his inner monoulouge. Other: he loves plants but kills all he tries to take care of. He also loves caves and geology a lot, he's kind of obsessed. He likes to go on walks looking for rocks, thus he has a very big rock collection. He also is pretty bad at singing but is working on it so he can particapate in musicals. He says "and" and "like" more than most people, especially when he's nervous. He also loves fashion, especially retro/vintage fashion, both mens' and womens' (he owns a few very stunning skirts that I really want to draw him in). He's very, very fluffy. notes - his personality and backstory as of now are in rough draft form, but I'm pretty sure the basic idea is staying for good. I also apoligize for the typos and awkward sentances in his bio, I didn't have much time to edit but I think it's readable. I'm also considering making him a secondary sona (!!) if I win him for comfort mostly but also kind of venting. I love him so much ahh credits - art: @sketchosaurus , please don't steal story: @sketchosaurs design: @warriorcats4life9 (which is a very good design btw, awesome job) song: No Faker by Mxmtoon
