update thing

Instructions

hi this is not a vent,, I don't like posting vents but like I don't enjoy making art like I used to I legit don't like it anymore its just?? Like?? I think I know why, but I don't know how to change it. Or when Its my art style,, I like it. But it's too good to be true. It's not original- it looks like I took a certain person's artwork and traced over it traced, meaning took a crayon, and crudely scribbled all over it, slapped a watermark on, and acted proud of it and called it art one year I've been on scratch several art styles I have been through. More than seven sketchbooks filled what am I doing?? What?? Its like I cant appreciate anything Guys,, today I spent my 1 HOUR lunch break trying to draw a cat. not even a cat,,, a headshot. Spoiler alert- I didn't make it past the lineart. Sometimes I look at certain people's art, and I want to give up literally Not to make this a sob story,, this never was meant to be one,, I just dunno what to do anymore I think I'm wasting my time, making art that I cant even do It scares me sometimes Where will I be in ten years? I'm good at school but I waste my time. I can't manage it correctly Sometimes I think rather than working hard, I'd just be sitting at a computer 80% of my life trying to draw a stupid headshot Its like art is the only thing I'm good at. I'm a b+ student in school I can't seem to write, even though I love poetry I can't seem to be organized, even though I want better grades I can't seem to be honest, I always lie I can't seem to be a gifted person I can't seem to notice myself, let alone let myself be noticed I can't seem to stand out, when I try to I'm not shaming myself don't say that I'm being honest I can try again and again and believe in myself and I will however no matter how much I seem to try I find myself moping over people who's art is better, and always will be better. Some people can animate Some people can draw cats some people can draw humans too some people can draw anything everything Me? I can't even draw a cat I can only draw a certain cat. A certain size, shape, angle,, has anyone noticed? All my full bodies look the same. I stay up all night sometimes till 3AM trying to change my art style but guess what it never works ever e v e r so lets get to the point I'm taking another posting hiatus payments will be posted other than that, art from me will be pretty slow this is not a vent, by the way just an update a harmless perfect fun lil update see ya later, fam <3