Therapy session Yeah, I gotta say like a month ago I was talking to fans And one of them pulled me aside and said "We never met but I swear that you know who I am I been through a lot I don't know how to express it to people Don't think that I can but I got that Mansion CD on rotation That's real for me Nate, you do not understand" It's crazy for me Kids hit me up, say they slitting they wrists on the daily This music is more than you think Don't book me for just entertainment, it's entertaining Hearing these parents, they telling their kids My music is violent, you gotta be kidding me I guess that your definition of violence and mine Is something that we look at differently How do you picture me, ah? Want me to smile, you want me to laugh You want me to walk in the stage with a smile on my face When I'm mad and put on a mask, for real though I mean, what you expect from me? I'm tryna do this respectfully They say that life is a race I knew my problems'll probably catch up eventually I do my best to be calm How you gon' write me and tell me you'd slaughter my family? That's just a glimpse to the stuff that gets sent to me These are the parts of my life that'll never see, woo I am aware it's aggressive I am not here for acceptance I don't know what you expect here But what you expect when you walk in a therapy session, huh? Therapy, therapy session Therapy, therapy session This girl at the show looked me in the face And told me her life's full of drama Said that her dad is abusive Apparently he likes to beat on her mama I got so angry inside I wanted to tell her to give me his number But what you gon' do with it, right? You gon' hit him up then he'll start hitting her harder That's real These kids, they come to my shows With tears in they eyes Imagine someone looking at you And saying your music's the reason that they are alive Sometimes, I don't know how to handle it This type of life isn't glamorous This ain't an act for the cameras You see me walk on these stages but have no idea what I'm dealing with after it I put it all in the open This is the way that I cope with all my emotion I'm taking pictures with thousands of people But honestly, I feel like nobody knows me I'm trying to deal with depression I'm trying to deal with the pressure How you gon' tell me my music does not have a message When I'm looking out at this crowd full of people I know I affected? Ah, I got some things in my life, I know I should let 'em go Let me jot it down, let me take a mental note I put it all in this microphone, think about that for a minute What is the point of this song, I'm just venting but what you expect from a therapy session? Therapy, therapy session Therapy, therapy session What you think about me That doesn't worry me I know I handle some things immaturely I know that I need to grow in maturity I ain't gon' walk on these stages in front of these people And act like I live my life perfectly That doesn't work for me Christian is not the definition of what perfect means I ain't the type to be quiet I ain't gon' sit here in silence If I wouldn't say what I say to your face Then I promise you I wouldn't say it in private I am not lying People go off on my page and I'm trying to quit the replying But this is ridiculous I'm passionate man, I really mean what I'm writing You want me to keep it a hundred? Okay, I'll keep it a hundred I see a whole lot of talking on socials But honestly, I don't see nothing in public I kinda love it, yeah "Why don't you write us some happy raps? That would be awesome All your music is moody and dark, Nate" Don't get me started You wanna know what it's like if you met me in person? Listen to my verses This music is not just for people Who sit in the pews and pray at the churches I won't reject it I don't expect everyone to respect it I don't expect you to get my perspective What you expect from a therapy session? I mean, I think sometimes people they confuse what I'm doing I write about life, I write about things that I'm actually dealing with Something that I'm actually experiencing, this is real for me Like this is something that personally helps me as well I'm not confused about who gave me the gift God gave me the gift and he gave me the ability to do this And he also gave me this as an outlet And that's what music is for me When I feel something, whether it's anger Um, it's a passion about something, or frustration Like this is where I go, this is, that's the whole NFrealmusic thing man This is real for me, I need this, this is a therapy for me
Mansion Insidious is blind inception What's reality with all these questions? Feels like I missed my alarm and slept in Slept in Broken legs but I chase perfection These walls are my blank expression My mind is a home I'm trapped in And it's lonely inside this mansion Mansion, mansion, mansion, mansion, mansion They're all over the place, there's songs on the mirrors Written all over the floors, all over the chairs And you get the uncut version of life when I go downstairs That's where I write when I'm in a bad place and need to release And let out the version of NF you don't wanna see I put holes in the walls with both of my fists 'til they bleed You might get a glimpse of how I cope with all this anger in me Physically abused, now that's the room that I don't wanna be in That picture ain't blurry at all, I just don't wanna see it And these walls ain't blank, I just think I don't want to see 'em But why not? I'm in here, so I might as well read 'em I gotta thank you for this anger that I carry around Wish I could take a match and burn this whole room to the ground Matter of fact, I think I'ma burn this room right now Somehow this memory for some reason just won't burn down You used to put me in the corner, so you could see the fear in my eyes Then took me downstairs and beat me 'til I screamed and I cried Congratulations, you'll always have a room in my mind But I'ma keep the door shut and lock the lyrics inside Insidious is blind inception What's reality with all these questions? Feels like I missed my alarm and slept in, slept in, slept in And slept in Broken legs but I chase perfection These walls are my blank expression My mind is a home I'm trapped in And it's lonely inside this mansion 'Cause I've this mansion Yo my mind is a house with walls covered in pain See my problem is I don't fix things I just try to repaint, cover 'em up, like it never happened Say I wish I could change, are you confused? Come upstairs and I'll show you what I mean This room's full of regrets, just keeps getting fuller it seems The moment I walk in to it is the same moment that I wanna leave I get sick to my stomach every time I look at these things But it's hard to look past when this is the room where I sleep I look around, one of the worst things I wrote on these walls Was the moment I realised that I was losing my mom And one of the first things I wrote was, "I wish I would've called" But I should just stop now, we ain't got enough room in this song And I regret the fact that I struggled trying to find who I am And I lie to myself and say I do the best that I can Shrug it off like it ain't nothing like it's out of my hands Then get ticked off whenever I see it affecting my plans And I regret watching these trust issues eat me alive And at the rate I'm going they'll probably still be there when I die Congratulations, you'll always have a room in my mind The question is: Will I ever clean the walls off in time? Insidious is blind inception What's reality with all these questions? Feels like I missed my alarm and slept in (slept in, slept in) And slept in Broken legs but I chase perfection These walls are my blank expression My mind is a home I'm trapped in And it's lonely inside this mansion 'Cause I've this mansion So this part of my house, no one's been in it for years I built the safe room and I don't let no one in there 'Cause if I do, there's a chance That they might disappear and not come back And I admit I am emotionally scared to let anyone inside So I just leave my doors locked You might get other doors to open up but this door's not 'Cause I don't want you to have the opportunity to hurt me And I'll be the only person that I can blame when you desert me I'm barricaded inside So stop watching I'm not coming to the door So stop knocking, stop knocking I'm trapped here God keep saying I'm not locked in I chose this I am lost in my own conscience Why don't you know that shutting the world out ain't solving the problem But I didn't build this house because I thought it would solve 'em I built it because I thought that it was safer in there But it's not, I'm not the only thing that's living in here Fear came to my house years ago, I let him in Maybe that's the problem 'cause I've been dealing with this ever since I thought that he would leave, but it's obvious he never did He must have picked the room and got comfortable and settled in Now I'm in the position it's either sit here and let him win Or put him back outside where he came from, but I never can 'Cause in order to do that I'd have to open the doors Is that me or the fear talking? I don't know anymore It's lonely (inside, inside) It's lonely It's lonely Oh yeah, it's lonely Inside this mansion
