Hello guys! - - As some of you may be aware, I haven’t posted in quite a while. - - First I just want to apologise! Sometimes excuses aren’t good enough but hopefully this is acceptable. - - So uh- I broke my computer. I was walking up the stairs with it and I slipped. I sort of fell on top of it and I don’t think computers were made to take the impact of me falling on top of it. Basically, long story short, it made a horrible crack noise when I fell and now it won’t turn on. As many of you know I use a wacom tablet to draw and unfortunately they do not work without a computer so until I can get it fixed I can’t draw properly. - - Some of you are probably asking why I don’t just use my phone because I used to use it a lot until about December last year. My answer is, I’m just not happy with posting bad quality art. The art I tend to draw on my phone is messy and ugly (in my opinion. It’s still ok but I’m only happy with posting art if it looks over 90%) The art I draw with my tablet on the other hand is much nicer But seeing as my computer is broken and I can’t draw without a computer, drawing will have to wait. I am sincerely sorry to anyone I was meant to draw art for I promise I will finish it once I can get my computer working again! - - Ok also I need a bit of a vent so please continue reading - - Lately I’ve been feeling really annoyed at a lot of things so this is probably going to be long sorry - - First off I’m pretty sure most of you know this, but I don’t actually live in Antarctica. The country I do live in, on the other hand, I am sick of. It’s a friendly place to most people, don’t get me wrong, but for people who don’t exactly fit the mold, it’s hell. All the people here dress the same way, look the same way, do the same things and eat the same things. Everyone is basically the same. - - I feel like if you wear something that’s slightly different from what they wear they judge you and say horrible things about you behind your back. If you like different things like gaming, watching streams, digital art, cosplaying, anything they mock you over it and make fun of you. If you are lgbtq they don’t accept you. They don’t say anything to your face but they never say it’s ok and they subtly leave you out on purpose. - - No No HELL NO - - I don’t see why anyone would think that this is ok? Can they please just give me a break? I don’t get to choose who I love, I’m not in control of things I enjoy doing. Life is already hard and stressful with school and activities. I really don’t need people judging me as well. - - I think the thing that annoys me the most, is that it isn’t even really their fault. It’s their parents fault. And their parents parents, and their parents too. They thought them how to act. They never thought their children that this wasn’t ok. And now this generation is ruined too. This is what they’ll teach their children. It won’t stop. We are rotten to the core. - - This actually gets on my nerves so hecking much. There are a lot of things I would like to scream but since I’m posting this on scratch, I can’t. - - Next off- SuperStraights. I’m going to be frank about this. What the actual heck ok? Who in the hell invented this? I would like to personally hunt them down and make their guts into pies. It’s disgusting. - - Obviously some people couldn’t handle lgbtq+ people being allowed to be special and accepted so they created this monstrosity and tried to pretend it was a valid part of the lgbtq+ community. - - No no no. It’s just low-key transphobic. Not dating people that are trans because you don’t like their personality or you like someone else, is ok because that happens all the time. You don’t have to like everyone you meet. But not liking trans people because “they aren’t real boys/girls” or because they weren’t born in the gender they identify within is absolutely 100% transphobic. THIS IS NOT OK. - - It doesn’t matter if you are trans, cis, or somewhere in between. If you feel like a boy or you feel like a girl, then you are a “real” boy. You are a “real” girl. It doesn’t matter what the outside looks like. It’s the inside that counts. People are always saying this relating to beauty, but it goes for gender identity too. - - So please. Please please please please, do not come near me if you classify yourself as superstraight or transphobic. I will actually attack you. I’m not even joking. This is a warning. - - Ok lastly (I think) This is more a me related problem more than anything else but ima say it anyways. I hate life so much. I’m so edgy right now. LikeI’m angry, annoyed, jealous, depressed, anxious and lonely right now it isn’t even funny. - - I wonder sometimes, if I just left, if I just went away would anyone care? Sometimes it’s like I don’t exist? People honestly don’t seem to take any notice of me. In real life, I haven’t talked to my school friends in about two weeks. CONT DOWN BELOW- - -
- - I think it’s just because I feel that they don’t actually want to be around me. I know it’s probably just my anxiety creeping up on my again, but I’m genuinely scared to talk to them now in case what I think is true. - - I used to be so damn cheerful. I used to love talking to people. And I guess, in some sort of way i still do? It’s just so much effort to talk to people. You always have to say the right thing so you don’t upset them or get them annoyed at you. - - Lately I don’t seem to be doing such a good job of that. People are just so tiring I physically can’t anymore. - - I’m scared to go back to school because I’ll have to interact with people again, but I’m also scared to go online in case I say anything that gets me into a whole load of drama or gets people to make a hate group about me. Basically I’m just scared to do anything. - - Sorry to those few good friends that I actually have, I don’t feel this way about you. I feel like I could talk about the most weirdest, meanest, stupidest things with you and you still wouldn’t take offence and get mad. Thank you. You know who you are <33 - -
