. ... ...... . . . When you have lost everything. When everything you have ever known has burned to the ground before you. What is there left for you to love? They say for one to be brave- They must love with all of your heart until there is nothing left. What does that make you when there is nothing left to love? When you have had everything stripped away from you? Bit by bit? Fern didnt know anymore. She didn't know what she could feel. And she didnt know who she was anymore. The storm swirled around her, here in this land. No one could touch her. Everything was nothing and everything at all- Here where the flare burned to bright- It threatened to tear Fern to ashes. The placid light sent gently cascade's of tangerine down on the she's emerald eyes, refection of the gentle Present tense was past as she raises her flaxen reach. Dawn shrugs off sleepless night, undulating shades announce a new start, the jackadays cry heralding a placid serene, echoing through the open sky. You could almost feel it. Emerald eyes stood awestruck, wind gently tugging at pale fur luminous under the rays of the rising sun. "Grand'mere this is beautiful." The older she, padded up to the younger, chuckling slightly. Her laugh sounded like bells- tiny chimes jingling ever so slightly on the breeze. Fern still remembered her laugh. "It's certainly is don't you think?" The she ha d a mischievous glint in her eyes. "This is the best birthday present ever!" Fern puffed out her chest, tackling the older she in a hug- Kriel grunted slightly, absorbing the hug as she nuzzled her grandchild. " Now my kitty kat, Will you promise me something? Remember I do owe you a favor." Kriel smirked slightly, as she remembered the days before- when while pretending to be a snow princess Fern and her cousins had flung Vaseline on the ceiling while screeching the song at the top of their lungs. When trying to get the Vaseline down Kriel had fallen off the ladder and broke her collarbone. Fern had promised Kriel a favor- and a new Vaseline bottle. Fern nodded cringing slightly. "Ah- yes I remember." Kriel looked down into her child's emerald eyes, so filled with hope. Innocence, blossoming with the cheer of younger day. It was unfortunate. That only children seemed to weep. At the executions held in the square. She took her child's paw in her own gently, as Fern tilted her head in curiosity. "Promise me something, my dearest. That you will grow up to be happy- happy and loved. That you won't be sad- that you will be safe. As long as I'm here- my dear theres nothing you need to worry about. You will be safe- and you are loved." Fern giggled, with a nervous chuckle following, before she collapsed into the warm embrace of her grandmother. "Of course! Anything for you Grand'mere! I Pinkie promise." The cries fell on deaf ears, as the child surged forward, desperately grasping for the hand she knew all to well. The hand that had held her broken battered soul in the palm. The hand that was being tugged away from her-her world lay in the palm if that paw. Tears screeched out as the paw was dragged away from her- cats in suits of alabaster- unblinking eyes hidden behind masks of a peace that was not so- her world, her life, her hope Fern watched. As her crimson fell to the ground. Nothing was left. Of her. when they finished. Fear. Fear filled emerald eyes, as she stared up at her reflection. Glass bruised her pelt, leaving. A sneer filled the room, as her eyes bugged out, the she towered over her, smear of ruby slipped down her fur from where she had made her marks, flowing down her back- down her. Silent river of cardinal. "You." the she started, as she grabbed her scruff, jerking her bac in forth. Fern fought against the flurry of ears that escaped. "You pathetic excuse. HOW could you do such a thing." Her mother motioned to the sandwhich- left half eaten on the ground. "The audacity. THE AUDACITY. DO you expect ME to SERVE YOU" Her mother screeched, Fern flinched "You spoiled EXCUSE of a WORTHLESS- " her mother chuckled, as she shook her head. Her claw came down swiftly. fern fought to not cry out. "You arent even worth my breath on. You never try to change. You go around expecting to be SERVED- You arent my daughter. A dughter loves her mother. When I was your ae I would do anything to please her parents. You just go up to me - expecting to be hugged and loved- and you never give anything in return. How do you think that makes ME feel." Mother spat, as fern trembled once more, "You selfish gluttonish excuse of a cat." Mother turned, sending one more disgusted look towards Fern, sending a piece of glass that had shattered on the counter to the floor her way. Fern suppressed a sob. She shouldn't love her. She loved her so much. Why was nothing ever getting better? Why couldnt she fix it? She thought she could fix it. Why was nothing changing? Why was nothing going to save her?. . . cont below))
. .. ... .... (cont. from above) . . And Fern felt the cold metal pierce through her pelt, emerald eyes widening. She turned to her mother with a confused expression. She couldn't prepare. She couldnt hide. tears bubbled to the surface of her eyes. "What did I do wrong? I'm sorry. im so so sorry. I can do so much better- I can fix it-" The figure crooned, gently stroking her hair. "Oh Fern you always do everything wrong." All the she could do was tremble slightly and chuckle, as she gently hid her shaking figure in the layers of blankets she had wrapped around herself. Was it really so selfish just to want to be loved. . .. .... The calla lily was soft against her pelt- the bramble encircling the trio in a soft haven of their own world, laden with oleander and ivy- their own safe paradise - now it was only a fragment of what once was. And his pelt sank down in grave of cerulean His smile fading into the waters lost forever He was so strong He wanted the pain to stop. Didnt everyone want that? Crimson running down her face as the breath left his face, tears running down his soft auburn pelt. Fern didnt need to hear the voices from the others camp. She need not hear the cries of her voice, as she stood there. The scene before their eyes as they watched their friend ripped open, life bleeding from his eyes. She didnt need to hear the words from her mouth, thickened with twisted sense of truth they held, they were true. She stood there, and she let this happen. She didnt stop it. She was right. Dont let her know it. She was so right. It was worthless. Tears blurred her vision as fern let out a chocked sob. She had let herself become like this She had burned everything to the ground She had become what she hated and loved the most She had become exactly like her. She had become a monster. The moon sparkled ever so gently against the glower and crackle of the flames. fern stood there sobbing, the lighter she had taken from Bear's supply steady spreading, steadily burning. Maybe just maybe she would go down with it. The fractures of the broken mind seemed to spin, jaunting tears lost to the howling wind as the fire spread, burning away the ashes of who she once was , running through blurred identities of everything she once was. Because the pain was too much to bear. And it was too late to take anything back. and the flames spread. Through cursed hollow emerald eyes. All her thoughts were put to rest last morning She would stay as always Al the love she felt was an emotion, thrown to the spiraling flames burning higher and higher, a sob that would never be heard tugged away to the winds of her lament As Fern ran to a blinding light of memories hung up on silver strands, breaking ever so slightly, crimson touched snow as the world ran muddled In the end all no one could not hear As she turned towards the broken face of a summers hopeless wish never to come true. She really did do everything wrong didnt she? ? ? ? ? , X X , X X X X " The morning dew falls soft Wind whistles to the blue jays ballad Caressing sun kissed skin and sunflower smiles And even when the sunflowers start to wilt And I can’t see sun’s light through cold It's your smile and our memories That will always lead me home One day again I will see your smile Outlined against the fractured light And fallen blooms of crystalline tears I race towards the dying sun So that forever We may dance together My arms in warm embrace In summers eternal youth. " ..... .... ... .. . Here is how to be brave. Love with all your heart and never let go. The streams of blue flowing, palace of cyan Is this what you would have wanted Sadness is a beautiful thing At first there is pain Will your tortured cries sing me a lullaby of a younger day The song of your word tainted with crimson stains And then it builds The light slips from your face as everything has left Tortured cries slip through the fragments of time as reality slips to nothing And then you let everything go to the storm And there is light. Bright and torturously blind What remains After the destruction Of everything you are What will remain Gelid lies imprisoned in a palace of mirrors Race towards the blinding sight Frigid embrace of what was never meant to be Will you move beyond Or will you stay When your grief and anger causes everything you love, to shatter like glass And even now as crystalline tears fall on cheeks of chipped porcelain As all that has yet to be said will forever remain. In halls of broken glass, tortured visions Will forever remain trapped The lament of broken wings. Slip into your peaceful slumber, O’ Queen of Crows .. . . the song is Scotland by McCafferty- I dont support any of the lead singers actions- I just really like this one song-
