I have so many more feelings to scream,, but I think finally having the motivation to say even part of it is enough. i just feel tired?! of this account i guess? i don't know I'm really only here for DTA's...and I only win so few of them. the ones a try really really really really really hard on i just never win? I mean i'm not saying the winners are undeserving or the host chose the "wrong" winner, I don't know, it just seems like a waste of time. i overwork myself for the characters XD so it feels kind of sad, especially since the backstories take so much thought?! and i spend long nights trying to make art for them?? i don't like it when i win, because i put so much effort in and... everyone who enters does, but only one person wins? and they say they look at "effort" but you can't tell how much "effort" you put into a drawing unless you're there staring at everybody draw?? and now "effort" is just how "good" your art is- see, what i'm trying to say is not that i don't care how good my art is. the art community is like a monarchy, the "good" artists always win and that's not fair. and I'm not afraid to say I've come to hate the art community, well, at least some aspects of it :) i've in the art community for a bit over a year, (like a few days over a year) and... I've lost every contest minus two DTA's, (not complaining, bet all of you have felt that), had every single one of my stupid serious projects fail, and I feel just great. also i have die hard social anxiety whenever I post ANYTHING that usually works out like an OTA, DTA, comms, YCH, MYO it never works out, bringing me into a spiraling depression where I believe everyone hates me :) especially when someone ignores my rp comment or my comment and I delete it out of embarrassment! Yes, it's only been one year and I've given up. I promised myself that if my last project didn't work I'd share this vent, because if it did work I'd be so happy I'd never need to share this thing. But it didn't, like deep down I expected. It's okay. Everyone feels these feelings. But I'm not strong enough, I guess.
