I'm not okay right now, alright? I want a break, I really do. But everyone I care about I leaving. I want to spend time with them before they go.. I'M SORRY, OKAY?! I'VE MADE SO MANY FRIENDS AND NEVER GOT TO SAY GOODBYE. MY FRIEND SARAH? MOVED. WE DON'T TALK ANYMORE, EITHER. MY OTHER FRIENDS? LEFT OR SUDDENLY HATE ME. I'M PUSHED AROUND, I'M ALWAYS 2ND OR 3RD PLACE, I'M NEVER CARED FOR. FRIENDS ON SCRATCH ARE DIFFERENT, BUT THEY STILL MATTER. I LET MYSELF BECOME ATTACHED TO THEM, I DIDN'T THINK IT THROUGH. I DIDN'T THINK THAT "HEY, ALL MY FRIENDS ARE USING SCHOOL COMPUTERS LIKE MYSELF AND ARE ALL GOING TO LEAVE! I'M GOING TO BE ALONE, FORGOTTEN, AND SAD AGAIN." I CAN'T ANYMORE, I CAN'T. I WANT EVERYTHING TO STOP, FREEZE TIME. I WANT TO STOP HURTING, THIS ETERNAL PAIN IS THE SAME AS BEING BURNED CONSTANTLY. MY HANDS ARE SHAKING, NOBODY LISTENS OR CARES WHEN I'M UPSET. DON'T BELIEVE ME? YOU WOULDN'T, NOBODY DOES. MY FRIENDS DON'T CARE, I DON'T CARE, NOTHING CARES. When I first made a friend on scratch, all my pain and thoughts of 'it' went away. I made more, and more. I felt loved, I was happy. Truly, happy. Sure, there were some arguments, but they didn't destroy me. But now, I have to watch while they all float away, forced to leave scratch as the school year ends. I'm alone again. Somehow, this is worse. I wish I could bring them back. My long lost friends. I wish my dad left sooner. He was abusive and destroyed my childhood. He's still alive, but he's in prison and things are better now. I wish I was loved. Nobody even cares, right? I wish I had a purpose. I'm nobody. I wish I didn't have to cry internally. I hide my tears so I don't cause others distress. I wish I could be different. Nobody likes me the way I am. I wish everything would just end. I hate my life. The only thing that is keeping me going right now, is an unknown sensation. Something in me is just telling me to stay alive, so I will. I'm doing this for you, @1-Dark_Night-1 , we've been through alot, and you've been with me through all my time on scratch. I'm doing this for you, @WoF_Nerds . I hate to see you go, but I've helped you, and you've helped me. I took your pain and let myself have it, it was worth it to see a smile on you. I'm doing this for some others who 'care' about me. I'm doing this.. because I can.
(I edited 23% of the code, adjusting the time and other things) "When I'm upset, I notice people get upset at me. Not because I'm sad, no, because I'm telling them my pain. So, I put on a mask, and act as if I'm alright. Suddenly, people aren't mad at me anymore. They start to ignore me instead. I guess I'm just not meant to be happy, huh?" - @XxInd0rapt0rxX
