(-Contains bad thoughts, threats, my mother's anger issues, and blood. This is your only warning to click off-) So... yesterday, I'm chilling while the power is out. My mom has a hotspot, but since I didn't know it could be used for more than one device, I refused to ask. Granted, I'm not much a talker anyway. I went to play my game because while we were talking in a living room, I thought she told me that I could take a day off from doing late work and play a few games. Turns out, I couldn't... (which I didn't know). So, my mom drags me to her room and is yelling loudly at me, wanting me to explain myself. I'm trying to tell her how I thought she said something different and that I was sorry, but she wouldn't let me say that. Instead, she forces me to just say that "I did what I wanted to". Then she starts to smile. I hate it when she smiles during a "serious(as in, anything that has to do with me doing literally anything)" talk. But this time, it was boy oh boy worse. So, she- WORD FOR WORD- tells me, "Next time, I'm telling you to take off your glasses. I'm taking off my rings. I ain't gonna just hit you. I'm beating you". EXCUSE ME?! She then proceeds to explain how strong she is (Dangerously strong by the way), and threatens to literally knock me out. Wanna know the funny thing? THIS IS LITERALLY OVER ME HAVING SOME MISSING ASSIGNMENTS!! AND SHE'S GOING TO FORCE ME INTO A HOSPITAL FOR HAVING MISSING WORK!! I dunno what got into my mom over quarantine, but this is actually ridiculous. I already can't talk to her about personal stuff because she doesn't listen or just take things her way or, "back in the day," but now she's literally going to knock me unconscious over some missing work in school.
When I say "adults are the worst," I mean it. And what sucks is that most people have to turn into them at some point. Anyway, I spent that night thinking if I should just let her knock me out or worse. I even thought of just ending it that night. That way she won't have to wake up and think, "Oh, my son's(She doesn't know I prefer female pronouns) a complete failure)", no, she'll think either, "Maybe I should learn from this and not be a bad person," or "Finally, the trash is out." Genuinely, I couldn't care much less what she thinks about me anyway. All I want is for her to listen, but if my own mother can't listen, and yet my friends can, what's the point of my mother even being around there in the first place?! And can I just say how STUPID it is to repeatedly say, "You're not doing it for us, you're doing this for yourself", and still have the nerve to check on me everyday, ask how many assignments I have left, pressure me much more, threaten me over some missing work, and other things relating to my work that I'm "doing for myself"? Anyway, if I'm not on scratch for a while, that's either the internet, a sign of a goodbye, or I'm in the hospital thanks to, "the best mom in the world," who by the way, had the first slice of my little sister's birthday cake. Anyway, see ya... or not. Doesn't make much a difference at this point thanks to "the best mom in the world." Ugh, such a corny thing to even tell a parent...
