really dissociated- srry if makes no sense i just feel bad and yes I did reference a theater game props to you if you got it ((tw!! homophobia, transphobia))) --------------------- i remember a story that nins mom told us she had a theater teacher who was in a wlw relationship if gay marriage was legal at the time, it would have been her wife- so that's what I'll call her the class either met her wife or she told them about her and nins mom told her conservative parents about all this and her mom, nins grandmother just said "theater people are weird" and this was considered a very good reaction but this didn't involve her at all so of course she wasn't as angry now i feel scared because im a theater person and i am *so* weird incredibly weird and i don't think that side of the family will like that kind of weird. will they all hate me??? they say they'll love me no matter what but that could all fall apart, couldn't it? if i fall in love with someone who doesn't fit their standard will that 'unconditional love' really hold up? i froze up trying to say the word "rainbow" around her literally just a word but i feel like if i make one wrong move its over for all of us zip zap zop no since of normalcy and its not a silly theater game if i'm out, i'm a goner in their hearts i don't want that to happen i want to have a good life and i can't do that if i pretend for all of it but... nins grandmother made a transphobic remark and used he/him pronouns for someone with a low voice who was probably a girl (might have even been cis idk) okay,, 10 more years in the closet!!! and I really don't like closets i feel like i'll never come out will i be trapped in here forever? the light won't come on the door nob is stuck its really dark and getting hard to breathe
(description at the end should not be taken literally!!!)
