Dear Ms Polkapatty, I am sorry to report that little Rowan has been assigned a detention. As you know, little Rowan is usually a very scruffy and ugly child. However, today I caught him passing notes during class. When I asked him to stop, he shouted, "Eat my shorts!" and began yelling with his friend Moe. Rowan aggravated the matter further by calling me an annoying maggot and likening my ankles to a grubby cellphone. Little Rowan was also in violation of the school uniform policy. I do not allow apple leg warmers at Center Plantation Elementary. Center Plantation Elementary prides itself on being a tasteless and amazing establishment. Thus we simply cannot have children passing notes and yelling on the premises. Added to which, my ankles look nothing like a cellphone, as Mrs. Wedder will testify. Please ensure that little Rowan attends detention tomorrow after school, and leaves his apple clothing at home. Yours sincerely Ms. Microwaffle
