I signed up for a relaxing arctic cruise on the S.S. Literally Can't Sink and was THOROUGHLY disappointed. If I hadn't illegally stowed away with the cargo I'd be asking for a full refund! The ship was tiny, and it didn't even have a pool on the deck like the ads promised. Barely enough room to stretch out after a long day of being curled up in a crate. Apparently the sickeningly adorable seals were on their own little vacation, because the only staff there to greet me were standoffish mafia members. They kept glaring at me and shouting things like "Dirty stowaway! No fish for you!" or "Get off Mafia ship!" It's a good thing I could devour their souls to shut them up. The only other food to eat was stinking, raw, glassy-eyed fish anyway. It was piled up in crates that made the deck awful smelling and crowded. Where was the fancy restaurant from the ads?! ...You know, I'm beginning to suspect I was picked up on the wrong ship
(The character Snatcher and other characters and concepts referenced here belong to Gears For Breakfast)
