im suddenly questioning whether im actually a demigirl- like i think i am?? but i might not be,, idk. im (kind of) ok with she/her, and being called by they/them just makes me feel like,, good? i dont even know how to describe it really. oh yeah another thing: whenever i see the demigirl flag, i think "oh, thats my flag!". but then i think about it a little bit, and that seems like an incorrect statement- im really confused rn. i have no clue what my sexuality is other than 'not straight'. i dont know who i am, who i like, any of that. im just lost. is there any way out of this hole? as far as i know, there isnt a way to know for sure. there will always be that little seed of doubt that im not actually who i think i am. i dont like this questioning of my very identity. the worst part is how long it has taken, and how long it probably will take. ive been questioning for years now, but that was really only with my sexuality. not my gender identity. i hate that im questioning who i am. i wish i could go back to 8 year old tuva without a care in the world. but at the same time, i love the communities ive put myself in as a result of whats happened over my life. its just.. it sucks. not knowing who i am. i used to think i knew. i used to think i would date guys and only guys. i used to not realise my brother was trans, or that i could possibly be trans (probably not but you never know), or in general that the queer community was a thing. i need tips. for knowing how to know for sure, for getting an idea as to who the hell i am in the first place maybe even for coming out, if it turns out that i dont even use she/her anymore. i just need help to get myself out of this hole. its too dark in here. and cramped.
