━━━━━━━☆★☆━━━━━━━ I've been wanting to just give up over and over again and almost did but a lot of people convinced me to continue to live. I am utmost grateful for those people but the thing is I am just actually miserable. The way irls treat me is just horrible. I just can't take it anymore, like I have feelings too. I'm a nobody, I'm not an f4%3@, I'm not a shy kid, I'm not the smart kid, I'm not the try-hard, the depressed kid, the emo kid in the corner...I'm just me. I keep getting purposely hurt and called the just rudest things. I want to live but... it's kinda hard when people keep trying to make it obvious they hate your guts and that they don't want you to live. I've had so many panic/anxiety attacks, and have had mental breakdowns so frequently. The band is no longer my safe place where I could be me and I just feel wrong. I think the moment I came out it ruined everything. I wish things could be different...If you read my vent thank you I appreciate it.