“saddest little baby in the room.” i had to really try to get this out, because I’m not motivated for this reason. lately ive been, unwell. I don’t see myself when I look in the mirror, I guess. and when you can barely walk on one of your feet, I guess that’s an excuse. but the main reason is- I’ve been jealous of a lot of things. and I’m a jerk! I’ve been swallowed by this everlasting need to be the best. When I score good on a test, everyone is talking about someone else who did better. when I’m complimented, it’s vague and sad. i don’t hear it. I talk to a lot of people, and I have a close online circle on a you-know-what server but favouritism seems to creep in. there’s a popular artist in there and when they post everyone is left out. i get frustrated with it all and I can’t control taking it out on others who treat me like I’m dumb. I’m younger than you, but don’t treat me like a baby because you’re older than me. And I forget how young I am, and I expect so much of me, that I’m here. I’m lying to myself on the daily, and telling myself that this is what I need. Blessed are the days I can get up and do things, and after I crash. And I’m DONE, done with the vague vents that go nowhere. I! Suck! I suck! I’m a bad person in my eyes when I’m social, so I’ll be shut away, until I get a message. TLDR; Me me big boy stupid, and not okay and no walk
