Eat cake.
"HAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA!" I laughed maniacally as the children at the birthday party looked at me with a sense of mystification and unparalleled terror as I drove my entire fist into the birthday cake, shoving dripping gobs of icing and bread into my mouth. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? WHAT- WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? STOP! STOP, PLEASE! STOP!" shouted the mother of Little Billy, the "birthday boy", as she covered her mouth with both of her hands and looked on at me in pure confusion. I grabbed the entire plate and tilted it down towards my mouth, sending the massive, 15-person party birthday cake sliding down off of it and directly into my salivating maw. Parents rushed over to me to try and pry the plate out of my hands, only to be greeted with a shove and my ecstatic screech of "I'M THE BIRTHDAY BOY! HAHAHA!", followed by a screamed rendition of "Happy Birthday" being blared from the top of my lungs. Shortly after finishing the "main course", I then began to take entire smashing bites out of the glass plate itself, teeth ripping straight through the cardboard on the bottom of the cake and then tearing directly into the plate with a loud crunch, glass crumbling in my mouth like gravel.
