left </3 i've decided to quit scratch for good. ik most of the ppl told me to stay.. but im going thru a lot and i've just lost every bit of motivation left- my mental health = non- existence :) life is hard- i get negative thoughts every single day. and still i've to keep smiling for the sake of my loved ones.. ilyg a lot but- some of my irl friends are v tox1c, i don't wanna be friends w them, but if i don't then i'll be lonely. and yo girl does not wanna be lonely :cri: EDIT : mari, u've been such a back stabber, i can't believe u wud be so insensitive- u told me to d1e just wow. First you go up to my crush and FLIRT w him infront of me and now u tell me to d1e and bodyshame other girls- I can't believe i was ever yo friend- and WHY R U NOT GUILTY EVEN AFTER DOING THIS BS. im so done with yo bs and defending you every single time- u don't deserve my friendship or even my kindness, u've broken the trust of everyone.. im so disappointed in u. Me being a bigger person tried to calm u down but u insulted me, brought MY personal life into it and u think its funny to mock my disorder. I trusted you sm, but ig it was "one-sided friendship" I don't wanna forget the times i spend w but u've been nothin but a heartless human being-. Idk what i shud think about u and even this paragraph will be a joke to you. I supported you in ur hard times but did YOU ever support me. no. you'd rather call me a a stupid b- for crying instead of comforting me- what did i ever do wrong to you. I was always there for you. supported every choice you made, every step that u took. I tried to guide you but ig i've failed. i've horribly failed. I remember making banners and stuff and u'd call me stupid for doing that. You'd call me skinny, or even point out my insecurities in front of everyone. Insult me, humiliate me. im not a type of person who does not stand up for themselves but i thought u were different. I still remember the time we became friends.. i still have that bracelet you made, it was so good when we where little. idk what happened to you.. this is not the mari i used to know, i love the old mari not this- Lastly, i want the best for you and ur family.. pls don't block me. I wanna keep checking up on ur health. ik you got covid, leah told me :) i'll pray for you and hopefully u'll feel better. And u did support me, at my worst so yuh tysm for that BUT PLEASE i want the old mari back not someone who does not care about people's sentiments ( if y'all wondering who mari is then, she's a childhood friend of mine ,like used to live in turkey b4 moving to uae, and she was my 1st friend when i started elementary school and she was an extrovert like she bonded w everyone and i was an introvert, i did'nt talk much and cry alot. uh yuh. So i don't clearly remember how we actually became friends but she had given me a bracelet on my bday, so when i moved to uae, her family moved w mine bc our dad's are best friends so yeah and after we moved there, i used to study in a BriTiSh school along w her but she changed, she used bully ppl n stuff and after( and it was at this time when she started being a total jerk) few years i changed my schools, and in my new school i met mia aka +" mia" is not mia's actual name, only I KNOW jkjkjk. After i met mia, i used to talk about mia to mari but she used call my too childish to be friends with someone younger than me lmaoo but like mia was my sis's age so i did'nt really care. Since i was in a new school and she couldn't "bully" me everyday, so she used come over and just get mad at me for no reason. And this is why i don't let my friends come over haha. This went on for several months until she brought up a very sensitive topic of mine and i was done so i got up and slapped her.. idk why i keep slapping ppl who insult me, anyways so she just stared at me and 5 secs later she started laughing like maniac, and she pinched me and told me to sit down and let me remind you THIS WAS IN FRONT OF 4 OTHER PPL. I sat down, and i cried, no no i was basically sobbing that my hiccups wont stop, i yelled at mari and called her some stuff, that i can't tell here, and then i calmed down, she told me she was sorry and THEN SHE WAS LIKE "SIKEEEE" AHAHA UR SOO DRAMATIC AHAHAHHA. by this point i was questioning if she was crazy or me). ik you'll be reading this mari, so if ever need to vent ill always be there. remember. i don't wanna comeback but scratch is addictive lol. ( how tf did i get addicted to a coding website haha ) i still feel guilty for leaving.. u guys don't know what i go thru my trauma still haunts me im pretty sure there r ppl whose lives r worst than mine and i'd say tell them "its alr, its alr" sorry if i hurt anyone's feeling w my words or deeds ( actions ) most of my close friends left so its time i leave too.. idk if i wanna comeback after this. ilygsm. pls bear w me. ty for even bothering to check this prjct. bye </3 - z
