in the year of '34 two gay idiots *almost* kissed

Instructions

◍ yup. avior and marcus are back on their bullshark. i'm actually really excited about this one, for several reasons. first, it marks the fifth story about these two and their petty rivalry. second, i have a plethora of plans that all begin with the creation of this short story celebrating the criminally unpopular international flirting week. i sincerely hope y'all enjoy it. :D ------------------------------------------------------------------------- february was, as always, the coldest and most miserable month of the year, and avior once again found himself in a terrible mood. the fact that he was quite literally unable to leave his cabin due to the abnormal quantity of snow was a large contributor to that. and, because the world hated avior and he could never find peace, marcus was there as well. and the two of them were alone. together. really, you'd think that more people would stay at the camp year-round. what's not to love about subzero temperatures in a secluded forest miles away from civilization? at that precise moment, avior was stretched out on his bed, idly flipping through the old atlas that he had found in the extreme office for misbehavation. if he remembered correctly, he had stolen it after being sent there for scoffing at the creative invention of the word 'misbehavation' really, it was a ridiculous thing to say. 'misbehavior' was a perfectly fine word! across the room, marcus was lazily scrolling through his phone. he hadn't spoken to avior at all during the six hours that had passed since avior had been relayed the yearly message from his parents that he need not come home again until may, and that he would be returning to camp three days before june first. funnily enough, apparently demons were at their most dangerous and most destructive during pride month. ("it's for your own safety. we never know what goes on inside those demonic creatures' heads," his mother had said. who would've thought that demons were— get this— demonic?) come to think of it, avior and marcus hadn't been alone together at all since that christmas party. it had been nearly two months, and avior was lonely. you simply cannot avoid one-on-one interactions with your mortal enemy like that. (again, he reminded himself to not think about what happened on the rooftop. avior. torrent. was. not. gay.) "hey," marcus said, lowering his phone. "did you know that this week is international flirting week?" "no," avior replied. "where'd you learn that fun tidbit, lonely singles united dot com?" "ha, very funny," marcus said. "no, my friend texted it to me. said he was gonna celebrate by going out to a couple bars and seeing how many phone numbers he gets," "i'll never understand why you still talk to that guy," avior said. marcus laughed. "imagine being the sort of hopeless person who actually does that sort of thing. i wonder if it's any fun," avior closed the atlas and stood up. "why not find out?" he said, "you be chad. i'll be the unfortunate girl you're about to torture," "okay," marcus said, "so chad would strut up to this girl and say that she had beautiful eyes," "classic chad move," avior said, "i think that then the girl would giggle and tuck her hair behind her ear," "chad would lean on the bar and wink," marcus leaned on an invisible bar, lost his balance, and fell over. he got up and winked. "the girl is having trouble finding chad attractive after that disastrous attempt at flirting. REJECTED," avior said. he grinned. "well, now chad is really upset. he feels attacked," marcus said. he grabbed avior's hand. "come on, gorgeous. give the amazingly hot chad one more chance?" he said, deepening his voice to a comical parody of the way you'd expect the amazingly hot chad to speak. "all right, but only if you can prove that you know the complicated and delicate art of ballroom dancing as well as i do. it is my only— yes, my ONLY request!" avior said dramatically in a high-pitched voice. marcus groaned. "i'm a terrible dancer!" he said, breaking character. avior grinned devilishly. "i know," he replied. marcus groaned again. "i'd ask you not to laugh, but what's the point?" he sighed, taking avior's hands in his. "uh..." he said, "what do i do now?" "well, chad," avior said, returning to the high-pitched voice, "let me teach you, you idiotic [censored]," "chad thinks your words are hurtful," marcus said. "no, he doesn't. chad doesn't know how to think," avior shot back. it wasn't really ballroom dancing. neither of them knew how. but maybe it sort of was, in a way. they were holding hands, and they were moving, and it was weird and awkward. maybe that was all it took. this was stupid. this whole chad-eo and random-girl-et thing was stupid. avior was abruptly interrupted from his thoughts when the world flipped upside-down. "the hell did you just do!?" he yelled. marcus had dipped him. like in some cheesy disney movie.