hello again its me brok. so i have a vent, first havent been on scratch for a bit uhh i've been much more ia bc i went back to in person school. i thought it was "better" than before. my friends? they welcmed me and i was really happy!! but, i never knew what was coming. on the 3rd and 4th day, i realized they had gotten so much closer in the 2 weeks my other friend came back so. before the winter break, they were "family" with me and this other girl. my two friends were "husband" and "wife" while i was a daughter along with the other girl. our friendship was super strong and 'yk we were equally friends. now on the 3rd and fourth day, they were super close with each other, and they're also in the same table group. they're saying "wifey" and always going to each other to talk. they also call the other "daughter" cute and sees jealousy in my eyes to comfort me and say im also cute. i am not amused. i am jealous and i feel treated unwell. unless i go to them then they'd talk. they hardly come over to me to talk or hang out. they're making jokes and laughing with each other and wouldnt laugh with me the way they used to. one of them only laughed alot when i fell and hit my head and butt. i laughed along with her, but i didn't feel humor. they're like best friends, and i feel like an outcast. tbh, i'm not ok. at school, we also are having too much stuff, im really stressed. we have a science presentation that is HALF of our grade. that is really pressuring. it's due in a week or two and im not ready, fr. we also have a health assignment that we'd be presenting. on my report card im not sure how i got an a- in health but whatever. im ok with presenting but he has high standards. in may, june, july those months i have exams. a theory exam, a violin exam and ballet exam. i am worrying too much. i had my first violin exam 2 years ago and i didnt do so uh well. in the high 70s. i feel so pressured, and im not even sure i love violin anymore. in ballet, im constantly comparing myself and disliking this girl, lets call her r. i was a fave student with my other friend when there was another teacher. but she quitted her job as a ballet teacher, so the owner who is old ig was teaching us. i am honoured, but she seems to favorite r more. i am angry. r is copying my stretches when im sitting down, she copies my mini stretches, and she forgot an excersize, copied me and got so much praise from the teacher. r always looks at me and i feel so judged. in theory, i dont understand a lot of things. the other girl im in the class with does really well. she understood this part i was clueless about, and gets higher marks and stuff. i am drowned in stress. on mondays i have art class, tuesdays i have ballet, wednesday i have violin, thursday i have theory class, saturday i have math tutoring and ballet. its too much, actually. also please dont say "im sorry" and i dont need sympathy. i am trying to organize my life, and its worse with friendships breaking irl. my tablegroup, im friends w. them, not as much as my other friends
