AH, LIGHTNER THE LIGHTAPUS, WHAT AN [Unbelievable Deals!] AND BY UNEXPECTED, I MEAN [Completely Free!] HERE, TRY THIS ON FOR [Sizable profits!]
NOW THAT YOU’RE [Bound to come round], I’LL CASUALLY NARRATE MY LATEST DEVICE OUT LOUD! BEHOLD, THE BIG-SHOT-INATOR! [Patent pending circa 1997.] WHEN I PRESS THIS BIG RED BUTTON, I’LL BE FREE TO MAKE MY OWN [Deals]! THINK OF THE SAVINGS!
