It was that time of the year, and Wander, Sylvia, and I were “vacationing” on a gorgeous snowy planet. And by that time of the year… I mean the day we deliver presents to everyone in the galaxy. Wander asked me to make a fake present to deliver him inside of, and I agreed to it. I delivered the Wander-Box to Sylvia, and Wander sprung out of it, indicating it was that day. “Oh, my grop. It's today?!” Sylvia exclaimed. “IT'S TODAY!!!” Wander replied. The three of us walked outside, danced around for a bit, and then the comet came. A couple minutes later, the three of us were in an orbble bubble, traveling at the speed of the comet. “There's just one thing I don't get.” Said Sylvia. “What's not to get?” Wander asked. He took off his hat, produced many, many presents, and dropped them down outside of the bubble, delivered. “Once every 365 Yuletidian cycles, a cluster of interstellar temporal neutrinos collides with a passing dimensional space vortex, resulting in a massive chronal jet stream...” Wander said. “And, we use it to travel across the universe in a single day, giving gifts to everyone we've met over the past season! Of our lives!!” Wander continued dropping the presents. “I get that.” Sylvia responded. “Then do you not get that being nice to folks makes them want to pay it forward?” Asked Wander. “No, I get that. I just don't get why I have to wear these.” Said Sylvia, grumpily gesturing to bell collars all over her body. “'Cause they go so well with these!” Exclaimed Wander, placing a deer-antlers headband on Sylvia’s head. “And these!” I said, gesturing to some fake elf ears I’d put on, and a red hat with a white trim and a white pom pom at the end. “We’re the perfect holiday duo!” Wander continued dropping presents until Sylvia was all tired out. “Okay, that was a blast.” She said. Sylvia proceeded to remove her bells and antlers. “And we delivered gifts to everyone we encountered this past season. Of our lives.” “Almost!” Wander said, pointing upwards. Of course… we were below Lord Hater’s ship. Great! Wonderful! Amazing! Not. “We have to give gifts to Lord Hater and the Watchdogs.” Explained Wander. He showed Sylvia a list of all the names of the watchdogs. “We've shared more adventures with them than anybody.” The orbble popped, and we walked through a hole in the side. “Even though most of those "adventures" involved them trying to destroy us? That guy is a jerk! I'm just sayin', maybe if we should institute some kind of..."Naughty or Nice" policy.” Sylvia said, snarkily. I nodded my head in agreement. “There's an old Slarnian saying...” Wander proceeded to say something I didn’t understand, which makes sense, considering I don’t speak Slarnian. Sylvia rolled her eyes, and we made it to a note on a panel in a vent. “"Sylvia, this panel is loose. Hugs and kisses, Sylvia".” Sylvia read. She proceeded to throw the panel aside, and the three of us jumped into the room. We proceeded to dodge various traps. “If we give Hater the perfect gift, maybe his heart will grow three sizes, and he'll spread cheer throughout the galaxy.” Said Wander. “Or maybe he'll try to destroy us...again.” Scoffed Sylvia. “I like our odds!” Said Wander, cheerful as ever. “I don’t.” I responded. I did NOT want to be there. At all. “Watchdogs!!” We heard Hater yell. “All I want is for you guys to finally do something, anything right, for once!! Is that so hard?!” “He's gonna be so excited!!” Squealed Wander. Sylvia rolled her eyes. “Yeah, that guy's just a barrel of sunshine waiting to happen.” “More like a barrel of rainclouds.” I mumbled. “Exactly!!” Said Wander. I’m assuming he was responding to Sylvia’s sarcastic comment, and not mine.
A watchdog walked right by us, looking confused. “Huh... Was it Conference Room 1 or Conference Room 1-A?” He muttered. Wander popped down, and said “1-A!” “Huh, thanks.” Replied the watchdog, before realizing. He aimed his blaster. “Hey, wait a minute! Who said that?! Show yourselves, or I'll blast you to bits and even smaller bits!” “It's not just about giving someone a present, it's about giving someone the perfect present! Observe.” Said Wander. He slid a present out next to the watchdog, who proceeded to examine the fancy box. “Huh, what's this?” Asked the watchdog. Wander peeked out, and whispered, “read the tag!” “Okay, mysterious voice. But I doubt there's any new information on this tag that would cause me to- Oh my grop, it's for me!!” The watchdog’s eye widened, and became a red, shiny heart. Another Watchdog came into the hall and pushed the first into the room. “Tim! The meeting's in here!” “Perfect. He's overwhelmed with joy! A little nice makes naughty think-“ Wanddr started. “Twice. Slarnian. [i don’t understand this flarping language] Yeah, I know. But if we're caught, we don't get to deliver gifts. We get to die. So, just promise me we'll be careful. Deal?” Sylvia grumbled. Wander hugged her. “Deal! Let's do this.” Wander continued delivering presents to all the watchdogs, and the watchdogs all fell into a happy trance. It was like they were zombies. Creeeeepy. Wonder how it felt. Peepers’ POV: This whole mess started when Hater noticed a soldier with a gift. Another day, another predicament, and this one was worse than most. “Peepers… what- what is that thing?” I had heard Hater ask. “It appears to be some kind of present.” I replied to him. “B-but, how...who would...what is wrong with him?” Hater asked, genuinely sounding nervous. That didn’t happen very often. If I’m being honest here, I was nervous too. That wasn’t a good sign. Not at all. The watchdog giggled creepily, scaring the flarp out of Hater and I. We both screamed, terrified. “It appears as though the gift has made him… happy.” I noted, shaking off the fear. There was no time to be afraid, not when we could have a major problem on our hands. “But the Watchdogs have never been happy before!” Hater said. “Well, sir, they've never received a gift before.” I responded. “Peepers... What are we gonna do? If this spreads... The entire army will be ruined!” Hater exclaimed. He sounded legitimately stressed. And we couldn’t have that, not during a crisis! If he started stressing, I’d start stressing, and this whole problem would only get worse. “It's okay, sir.” I attempted to comfort him. “There is no way this "happiness" is spreading.” But just my luck, I was wrong. All the watchdogs had been infected. The two of us screamed, and ran away down a hall into a room. We then proceeded to lock the door. We were the only ones competent enough to stop this! We couldn’t let ourselves get infected. “There’s a serial gifter loose on the ship.” I said, dead serious. “We have to destroy him, before he destroys us!Peepers, assemble a team!” Hater exclaimed. I had two other watchdogs with me. They weren’t exactly our best soldiers, but they were currently uninfected, and that was the best we could currently do. “Alright, men, split up!” I shouted, as the watchdogs ran down a hall. I could tell they were scared, and that was going to make their performance worse. However, I was equally as terrified, so I was in no position to judge. I patrolled for a couple minutes, hoping to catch the gifter, but I had no luck. Suddenly, I heard a scream! It sounded like a watchdog! I sprinted towards the noise, but when I arrived, it was too late. My team had been infected. “Curses! Pete has succumbed to the dance.” I muttered, noticing the tap shoes one of the watchdogs was wearing. Before I could do anything else, I noticed two eyes coming from an open slot in the vent. Wander’s eyes! He was the one responsible for this, and he was not going to take me out so easily! Okay, I’ll admit it, there was no big scene where I resisted the present and fought Wander. I ran. I ran straight for the saferoom, knowing Hater was inside. I begged him to let me inside, but he just asked for the password! We never made a password! And Wander was getting closer by the minute. Wander saw me attempting to get inside the room, and threw the present at me! It hit me, and I was knocked out.
