but this time with my two hazbin hotel/helluva boss OC's, Neptune and Racknack (thats his name because he takes a raccoonish-looking form in hell because he robbed places and he was also had a knack for being sneaky and stuff lol. name puns :] ) Racknack: Change is inedible. Neptune: Don’t you mean inevitable? Racknack, spitting out a bunch of pennies: No, I really didn’t. Racknack: The time to act is now. Racknack: Wink, wink. Neptune: Don't say "wink wink". Just wink. Racknack: Oh, sorry. Racknack: Wink. Neptune: How would you like your coffee? Racknack: As dark and as bitter as my soul. Neptune, shouting to someone behind the counter: I need one vanilla latte with extra cream and sugar! (racknack is my sweet, cheerful little dumb___. i love him) Neptune: I need life advice. Racknack, sipping Gatorade and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person. Racknack: I think I'm falling for you. Neptune: Then get up. Racknack: Remember that time you dared me to lick a swingset? Neptune: No, I said "Racknack, don't lick that swingset" and you said "Don't tell me what to do" and licked the swingset. Neptune: I'm going to take a shower, I'll be right back. Racknack: Why are you telling me this, I don't care. Racknack, right after Neptune leaves the room: I miss them already. Neptune: Racknack, what are you doing? Racknack: *shaking a cat shaped piggy bank* I’m just trying to figure out how much change I have inside. Neptune: You could always take it out and count it. Racknack: Where’s the fun in that? Racknack: Go to sleep or you'll hate yourself in the morning! Neptune: I'll hate my self in the morning regardless. Racknack: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated. Neptune: Killed without hesitation. Racknack: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case? Neptune: wHat? Racknack: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved. Neptune: Can we go back to the part when you said "when I get murdered"? Neptune: Have I ever told you that you cook well? Racknack: Awww, no, you haven't! Neptune: So why do you keep cooking? Racknack: Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash. Neptune: Oh. We're going out? Racknack: Wh... Racknack: Can you cut me some slack, Neptune? I’m sort of in love. Neptune: I’m sorry, but that’s really not my problem. Racknack: I’m in love with you. Neptune: *blushes* Oh. That brings me in the loop a little. Neptune: We both look very handsome tonight. Racknack: You know, if you'd just said that I looked handsome, I would have said, "So do you." Neptune: I couldn't take that chance. Neptune: I owe you one. Racknack: That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even. Racknack: Do you want to know your gay name? Neptune: My... my gay name? Racknack: Yeah, it's your first name- Neptune: Haha. Very funny Racknack- Racknack: *gets down on one knee* And my last name. Neptune: Oh- oh my god. Neptune: Ugh, crushes are so dumb. Racknack: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid. Neptune: But you’re always acting stupid? Racknack: ... Racknack: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard. Racknack: This date is boring! Neptune: This isnt a date. I said I was going to the store. Racknack: Then why did you invite me? Neptune: I didnt, I specifically said "dont come with me" then you said " ____ you Neptune I'll do whatever I want! Racknack: Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake? Neptune: Aww- Racknack: With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast! Neptune: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized. Racknack: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely* Neptune: That one. I want that one. Racknack: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response. Neptune: Wow. They sound stupid. Racknack: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense. Neptune: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!” Racknack: I guess you’re right. Hey Neptune, I love you. Neptune: See! Just say that! Racknack: Holy _______ ____. Neptune: If that flies over their head then, sorry Racknack, but they're too dumb for you. Racknack: Neptune. Racknack, sweating: Neptune, there’s something I need to ask you- Neptune: Finally! You’re proposing! Racknack: How’d you know? Neptune: Racknack, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner. Neptune: I even picked it up once.
Neptune: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine. Racknack: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again. Neptune: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns?? Racknack: Is it working? (im drawing this later and no one can stop me edit: its later. its adorable) Racknack: We have a problem. Neptune: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them. Neptune: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake. Racknack: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear. Neptune: ... Neptune: You mean ring bearER, right? Racknack: ... Neptune: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding. Neptune: I fell— Racknack: From heaven? Neptune: No, I literally fell— Racknack: In love with me the moment you saw me? Neptune: MY ARM IS BROKEN! Racknack: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest. Racknack: Relationships should be 50/50. Neptune cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty. Neptune: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos- Racknack: I wrote you a poem. Neptune, already crying: You did? Racknack: Two brooooos! Neptune: Chillin' in a hot tub! Racknack: Five feet apart 'cause we're not gay! Neptune: Racknack: Neptune: *tearing up* Racknack: Babe, c'mon... Neptune: AND HERE YOU REALLY HAD ME THINKING WE HAD SOMETHING. Racknack: Babe... (neptune has actually gone through a pretty bad relationship before and has some big trust issues so this one actually kind of makes sense) Neptune: It's dark in here Racknack: Don't worry dude I got this Racknack: *Stomps their feet* Racknack: *Skechers light up* Racknack: I made this bracelet for you. Neptune: You know, I'm not really a jewelry person. Racknack: You don't have to keep it- Neptune: No. I'm gonna wear it forever. Back off. Neptune: I still have no idea how I’m attracted to you... Racknack: Yeah, well, you’re stuck with me, and no take backs, honey. Racknack: I just wanna be called cute 21/7. Neptune: Why not 24/7? Racknack: Snack breaks. Racknack: I’m not so sure you’re stakeout material. Neptune: I’m a chronic insomniac, I was born for this. Racknack, cowering in fear: What do you want from me?! Neptune, standing in front of Racknack: *bites into the whole KitKat bar like a heathen* Racknack, crying: Please...stop... Racknack, texting Neptune: I’m a theif. Neptune: Thief. Racknack: Theif. Neptune: I before E except after C. Racknack: Thceif. Neptune: NO. Racknack: I will beat all of you in Rock, Paper, Scissors. You go first. Neptune: Rock. Racknack: Paper. Racknack: That’s the longest worm I’ve ever seen. Neptune: That’s a snake. Neptune: Ew. What kind of tea is this? Racknack: I boiled gatorade. Racknack: Which is correct, seven and five IS thirteen, or seven and five ARE thirteen? Neptune: Neither. Neptune: Because it's twelve. Neptune: You’re an idiot. Racknack: That’s the charm. Computer: Please enter a password. Racknack: *types in Neptune* Computer: Your password is too weak. Racknack: How _______ DARE YOU- Neptune: Please could you go to the shop and get a carton of milk, if they have avocados get six. Racknack, coming back from the store with six cartons of milk: They had avocados! Racknack, holding in their laughter: Hey, how do you ask a glass of water what it’s doing? Neptune: A glass of water is an inanimate object. Therefore, it's incapable of having a thought process or understanding basic human language. Racknack: Racknack: /Water/ you doing? Racknack: *Pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere* Neptune: Where did you get that? Racknack: My pocket. Neptune: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket? Racknack: Skills. Neptune: What does a winner do when life gives them lemons? Racknack: Um, make lemonade? Neptune: No, they squeeze them right back into life’s eyes! Racknack: *nudges Neptune at 3am* Pretty ______ up that we depict the moon as a girl and the sun as a boy. They're just floating rocks in space. Neptune? Wake up, Neptune! Listen! They're genderless! Neptune: The sun isn't a rock, go back to sleep.
