So, as a few people know, I am not exactly who I seem on here. Some people might think I am impatient, or a bit passive aggressive. Yes, I agree with that, but there are reasons to it. Impatient-In real life, I had a friend, well, I barely can call them a friend. To them, I was nothing. I would ask them for something, and they would ignore me, replying days later with something completely unrelated. They didn't care for my opinion, and only see me for who I was, not who I am now. This has led to be being a bit impatient, and having a habit of pinging people earlier than they may like, as with this friend, it was the only way to get anything done. passive aggressive- I don't like emotions, or being emotional, and my go to for getting rid of them is converting them to anger. This works some of the time, as it allows me to have the motivation to train harder to get batter. But when it comes to other emotions, it just isn't good. This leads to grudges, and bottled up feelings. So, anyone who knows what this means, you know what I am talking about. If not, let me summarize it. This means, that I hide my emotions, and bottle them up, almost always on a thin line between a flow of emotions, or just wanting to punch something. This paired with almost no one to vent to that would actually care has lead to a decline in my mental health. I have not had thoughts of oofing myself, but sometimes, the antidepressants don't seem like enough to be myself, having to keep a stoic, don't give a [___] about anything else attitude, it can get difficult to maintain. On the topic of having to keep a fake face, none of the people I hang out with know who I really am, I just have to appear straight, and "masculine" as that is what they saw me as, even though I want to be who I am, there would be backlash.
This is not meant to make people feel bad for me, it is just to explain a bit about me and explain some of the things I may have done. (Not an april fools prank)
