it wasnt until today i realized the purpose. of friendship, siblinghood. i wont always be so close to my sib. i realized w.o my sibling i'd feel lonely? my friends? well something happened today, nothing bad though. i realized the online life is a trap for me. im checking every like 2 hours to see new activity, messages. i should give up scratch. i regret joining scratch and making friends. amazing friends. like zena, grace, froggy, minna, saf, sugar <3 i miss the days. i feel forgotten from old friends, as they've moved accounts, started new. i sometimes regret deleting bear-plushiie. but that was the only way to prove i had quit for real, no? people are creating drmaa bc they said they'd leave but always come back. that was kind of like me right? yes i said i'd perm leave, but i didn't. i only made a "trade" with zena so i could stay a little longer. i broke that trade though and left. i realized that people could think im saying im leaving for attention. i hope you know that i wasn't. i had gotten an 80 smtn on my math test. that was bad. my mom was disappointed, i could tell. i almost cried. HOWEVER!! my irl life is getting a little better. ups and downs :). i got a level 4 on my essay thing. i might have to present for health tmwr. this is different. my first time presenting in front of this new teacher. i am as nervous as someone afraid of needles, but 100000x nervous-er. i haven't practiced much, maybe twice. other people are in groups, while im lone. i realized the value of my friendship. we tell each other things- or, well most things. because we trust each other [or well they trust me] and even if i feel left out sometimes i still love them <3 i also feel too attatched to scratch, any ideas?
