*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker* theo: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know. Everyone: athena: ...I did. I broke it. theo: No. No you didn't. paris? paris: Don't look at me. Look at angel. angel: What?! I didn't break it. paris: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken? angel: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken. paris: Suspicious. angel: No, it's not! lily: If it matters, probably not, but kai was the last one to use it. kai: Liar! I don't even drink that crap! lily: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier? kai: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, lily! paris: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, theo. theo: No! Who broke it!? Everyone: lily: theo... paris's been awfully quiet. paris: rEALLY?! *Everyone starts arguing* theo, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. theo: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. theo: theo: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here. *The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one* theo: I will not let you down. lily: Sounds fun. athena: K. angel: No, I'm not. kai: Do I have to be? paris: Please god, I am so tired. paris: Is it still visible? Where kai slapped me? theo: Your face looks like a don't walk signal. athena: Your face looks like a photo negative for the hamburger helper box. lily: A palm reader could tell kai's future by looking at your face. angel: The phrase 'talk to teh hand cause the face ain't listening' doesn't work for you, because the hand is your face. paris: ...A simple 'yes' would've sufficed. kai: Christmas lights? theo: Check. athena: THermos of hot cocoa? theo: Check. lily: Santa suits? theo: Check. paris: Shovel? theo: Check. angel: Alibi and bail money? theo: Check- wait, WHAT?! theo: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life. athena: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back... angel: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this. kai: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years. paris: I knew I lost that potential somewhere. lily: Mental stability, my old friend! theo: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little? lily: The floor is lava! paris: *helps athena onto the counter* angel: *kicks kai off the sofa* theo: *lays on the floor* lily: ...Are you okay? theo: No. angel: Dumbest scar stories, go! lily: I burned my tongue once drinking tea. theo: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned. athena: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. paris: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it in my hand and I got a really bad burn. kai: I have emotional scars.
