I swear, and promise, this is my last vent for a long while. I’m sorry for venting so much. As some of you may know, my mental health is not all too good. Well.. it’s worsened. To an extremely bad extent. I cannot say the extent here because, hhh. But it has worsened so so much. And no, it isn’t about scratch. It’s about my own life. I just want the pain over. My selfish, and estranged ‘sister’? It’s been 279 days. And, a family member of mine, I’ve learned that she’s in hospice. My life is crumbling down around me. I tried doing something where I’d write down things that are a reason to live for, but after a few days, I ran out of things. I am extremely positive that I have emotional trauma. And oh look, I also have abandonment issues. Oh, and depressive episodes. And anxiety attacks. And stress. I just don’t know what to do anymore with my life. I’m trying to focus on schoolwork, but.. I can’t. It just gives me so much stress the moment I go onto my computer to do school. When that happens, I go in my bathroom for 30 minutes, sit on the floor, and cry. Go back to computer for school. Cry. And it becomes a cycle. So yeah. I just have no idea what to do with my life anymore. I just need help, but the my only irl friends? One is on vacation, and one always ghosts me. I just need help.
