Not Hacked. Please read. Hiatus. IMPORTANT.

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Please READ THE FULL DESCRIPTION. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT.I Autocorrect is in this desc., Making it hard to read, srry. "Spread day word. Maryem is having an idk problem but she will come back. Please don't worry, SHE WILL COME BACK. SHE IS NOT HACKED. PLEASE BE PATIENT. SHE IS IN A LOT OF TROUBLE. THANK YOU, HER FRIEND, "Seal Vasta"." 1% OF my situation... I'm basically the world's biggest interfere show biggest c are are dogs and growing up. I'm an empath and I have but emotions, and I can't help it. I'm locked in a small room, though I'm happy about the big window and the views, and I live with parents who seem to think all I care about is toys and material things, and basicly buys lots of these toys and think I should be happy because my room is full of, I agree, nice toys. I do like toys. But I want more than that. I want friends. Company. Love. People who care about me around me. My parents think I don't care about work. I do. I want to go up as an author, animator, programmar, trampoliner, pingponger... Yep. Many thinga. :) But growing up is a huge fear. I love cartoons and yes, toys, and I don't ever wanna leave those behind. I am not a teenager. I don't wanna be a teenager. I am a child. But my parents, or at least my mum wants me to grow up. My dad, he doesn't really care, he just wants me to be responsible. Yet my worst nightmare comes in 4 days. 18th may, I turn 13. HELP ME, SAVE ME FROM THIS NIGHTMARE... I have an amazing art skill and great talked I guess, so I win lots of competitions... but now I have lots of competitions to do which is adding 1%more stress. My mum loves spotting our ALL the mistakes and flaws in my and says "it is critisism." . But she does it all the time. I even asked her, "Then what do you like about me?!" She said, " no, you should ask, what do you NOT like about me, then I can give critisism. " . Me with my uncontrollable emotions, I get a bit upset just always hearing her on and on about my flaws all the time, then it adds more flaws. She starts saying, "well, you always take criticism badly, and you NEVER R want to hear the mistakes. I and just trying to make you realise your mistakes." . I already see my mistakes. I already hate myself enough. I already thing I'm ugly. I get the message. No need to emphasize it more. It's already too clear to me. I never felt like people hate me, but... she makes me feel like no one should like me, like I'm a nuisance, like I shouldn't be born. Trust me going through that is worse than you thin k. She literally acts as if I don't have feelings and I can just take it all in like a robot. I ve been sick for, like, a year now?! Mhm. It gets worse and wirse, and the pain is incredible, you wouldn't imagine. My dad is more able to listen than my mum. If I told my mum I was afraid of being 13 (Dw guys! I already ma rd the mistake. I'm totally fine after what she said, ain't I?! Yeah. Totally.) She'd say (or has she said it already?! You are correct. She sure did.) "Oh, so what are you, a toddler for the rest of your life?! Is there something wrong with you?!" . As for my dad, hed say (or has said, I'm glad he did), "Don't worry, you are closer to being a child than a teenager. You'll still be able to play with your toys and watch cartoona. You'll stop when you want to." . But he still gives me stress. He loves moaning about me to my mother about me being slow at my work, and my. I. Cant. Hrlp. It. My mind just can't function. It's always been slow. I can't concentrate on reading a question. I used to be able too, but I was still kinda slow. Now, I re-read it and re-read ut, and scratch my head still trying to figure out what the words mean. You ask me to read out a book, I will, but I won't know what I'm saying. I used to. I would read and know what I'm saying very well. But lately my concentration problem has gone HYPER. So I'm slow as a slug. Then there are so many problems in my life. And the last two years of my life is where it gets worse. I used to be a special person. But now it's like, someone else... I'm not the same person... As a very intelligent toddler, yes, I made myself promises. Never lie unless you REALLY have to, or can't stand what would happen if you told the truth. Never swear. There were other promises, and one of them was Never change who you are. Stupid me. Two yearsago, thanks to my mother, i. Change d. My. Self. God, I really regret it. And I can't change back. No matter how hard I try. And that's what REALLY ruined my life. I'd do anything to go back and be my what I call true self. I'd give you all my money and all !t devices, I swear. Bc I'm not happy like this. I never will be. The moment I changed, I realised my foolishness. WHAT DID I DO! How do I change back?! Any one of you know?! Because like this, I'm ruined. I'd rather have covid. Part two, see inside scratch cat code for the bullying. There is a comment to read.