It's funny how my sleeping problems become bad before bed habits and it's funny how my hallucinations suddenly become just an overactive imagination. It's funny how my depression is suddenly fake because I haven't gotten a prescription for it. It's funny how I don't actually have these problems because I can't open up enough to tell anyone about it and get prescribed and fixed. It's funny how suddenly my problems. Don't matter because I don't want to open up to people about it. It's funny how everything with me is normal until my issues effect others. It's funny how no one notices. My mood changes until I suddenly go from happy to angry and violent within. A matter of seconds, it's funny how none of my problems matter or are real until they hurt someone other than myself. It's funny how I'm faking it until the drawings on my arms are no longer made with ink. It's funny how my panic attacks aren't actually panic attacks until I can't breathe. And until I am crying and in pain. Then fear. It's funny how my possible. Mood changes. Don't matter into my friend is holding me back because I wanted to smack someone and hurt someone. It's funny how I'm just overreacting and how it's normal until I get into a fight with someone for saying something awful. It's funny. How my problems don't matter until they affect someone that doesn't? That isn't me. It's funny how everything about me doesn't matter and isn't real until it's hurting someone else. It's funny how my anxiety isn't real. Until I can't go into certain spaces or be around large groups of people or else I will get physically sick. It's funny how my trauma isn't. Real until I'm sitting in a church, trying not to cry digging my nails into my skin and choking on my own breath. It's funny how even when I tried and forget certain things. They still pop back up into my brain. Just if someone touches my neck, I can still feel the wire tracing my throat. I can still feel it whenever some things too tight around my neck, I can still feel the wire tightening and my vision blurring. It's funny how my problems. Don't matter until I'm suddenly a monster.
I used a recorder then pasted what I said onto this so don't mind any errors
