Song just shows my current mental state as accurately as it is right now. Warning, this song is VERY VERY loud. Update: My coworkers ratted me out to my parents and I am currently banned from electronics due to the soul reason that I am bigender and hallucinated at work due to exhaustion.
Ok so a lot of things have happened. A LOT. I'm currently falling apart at the seams and I simply cannot get help as my problems are constantly downplayed and I'm gaslit. I can't go to the school counsellor as they'd probably call the cops due to the violent intrusive thoughts that have built up in my mind like water in a clogged pipe. Depression and anxiety kinda just gave away to insurmountable anger. My grandpa is a terrible human being as of late, family tensions are rising, gender dysphoria and self hatred are building up, and my parents are starting to just neglect my mental state more and more. I may have ADHD but we'll never know since my parents refuse to acknowledge that there's anything wrong with their dumpster fire of a child. My only remotely safe space is work, which I'm going to label as Freddy Fazbear's because I do indeed work at a pizza place. I'm called by my preferred pronouns and name there and the stress is a bit less, as I can just blab my co-worker's ears off. But my anxiety constantly forces me to tell myself "You're annoying. Nobody really likes having you around. Shut up." but I can't. It just makes me ramble more. Like I'm doing right now. I just... I want to get out of my household. My sister is the most toxic person on planet earth, and I'm suppressing the urge to just punch her square in the nose. I thought you guys deserve to understand how mentally and emotionally unstable I am currently. I have the capacity to hurt someone with how short my temper is right now. I think I've put off telling you all for long enough because this is legitimately becoming an issue. Thank you for reading all of this.
