hey. i usually don't talk about actually irl things on here, but this is really bothering me and i can't talk to anyone irl about it bc of reasons. ||| one of my best friends died about two weeks ago while i was out of state. i never got to say goodbye. i never would've even known about it so soon if his parents hadn't gone through all his contacts and broke the news about his death to the ones they didn't personally know. ||| thoughts and feelings: you were always so happy. you always knew how to make others happy, even when you were in pain. i don't think i saw a single day when you weren't smiling. your smile was contagious, and everyone in a room always smiled when they saw you. you were so loved. you were so caring. you always were able to comfort me, even in my darkest times. you were always there for me. you never let me down, not once. i don't know if i can say the same about myself. you were such a wonderful person. i regret leaving the state in such a hurry without a single word to you now, knowing i'll never see your smile or hear your voice again. i miss you so very much. i don't know if i'll ever get over losing you. no, i know i won't. farewell, my beloved friend. i miss you so much already. ||| "why are you still here?" i'm still here because Scratch is... an escape of sorts. it helps keeps my mind occupied and away from the sad, sorrowful truth. it is an escape from a reality without of my best friends in the world. it is an escape from my feelings. and plus, i can now reflect my feelings onto Emberdrift because he's going through the same things right now. he loss his brother and second best friend while he was away from them. if i can say the only good thing that came out of this, it's that i'll have no trouble rping Embs's feelings when he finds out they're both dead. (/hj) anyways, i need to be on Scratch to help me escape the wicked truth of this wicked world while i grieve the loss of one of my most beloved friends.
they say time heals, but it doesn't. we just learn to deal with the pain.
