(I kinda vent a bit near the middle, sorry about that) Hey guys To be honest I have no idea where I'm going with this but uhh yeah let's just go with the flow shall we So I've been losing motivation for a lot of things, mainly drawing (except for my drawing challenge for some reason) and writing (I'm in too many roleplay chains and I have 5 I still need to reply to). And I really have no idea what I should do. I think I'm starting to feel disconnected from the TFCRP community. It's been my source of comfort for years now (and I don't think it'll ever stop being that for a while) and I think the thought of being excluded from stuff is scaring me a lot. Because I don't have chaos, I've already been feeling extremely left out of the admin group. There are plans I couldn't help contribute with, ideas that I never got to help discuss, and overall I'm not feeling much like an admin. I'm really nervous about the admin elections, because if I do get reelected (which I'm hoping I do) I'm worried that it'll just be the same thing where I'm being left out of discussions and inside jokes and other stuff. It sucks, but I can't really do anything about it. I think we were working on a system to include the scratch-bound admins in conversations more (I kinda forgot how that turned out lmbo) I'm still going to stay here. I'm still going to stay in TFCRP. I'm not going to take a break, because those usually stress me out the wazoo and I never get anything positive out of those. I think I'm going to try to finish all of my MAP parts and finish up the roleplays I'm in and I'm just gonna. Chill. I don't know, like I said, I'm literally writing this on a whim. I don't know where I'm going with this. I think I wanted to say something and admit that I'm not doing very well. Sorry for all of this. I really don't know why I made this Love you guys, thank you for putting up with this <3 art is by me and the song is a piano cover of This Is What it Feels Like by Armin van Buuren
