It's time. /srs

Instructions

!! TW: Please don't read ahead unless you're ready to possibly never like me forever. I am NOT trying to guilt trip or anything - it's been boiling up for a long time and I need to let it out. !! I've been holding back the truth for so long, I've been hiding the true circumstances of why I'm on this site / ended up here in the first place. I completely accept it if you don't believe me, and I respect you if you hate me forevermore - I've done all this and probably broken promises along the way. 0 - - - 0 Let's start off with the issue: there are way too many to count. I've hidden it all through Lumi, my old fursona, then Bea, and now the name Pixie. A pixie is a peppy, happy creature who's innocent and did nothing wrong. It's part of why none of my characters are even close to antagonistic [ exception of Conundrumspectre ], because I didn't want to hint at my wrongdoings. There was this trend in TC, where people guessed each other's ages, and when I hopped in I got 14 or 15, one or two 16s - that was when I was REDACTED years old. It made me start to wonder - is that how I am online? Is that why, despite being a fairly extroverted person, that I sometimes, when surrounded with my closest of friends, find it difficult to get a single word out? Is that why I can't focus at all? A lot of is thats-. 0 - - - 0 HISTORY Mmkay. I joined Scratch when I was 8, as part of a school project. About then I picked up my first Warriors book and instantly fell in love. When I was 9-10, I'd hopped into THG [ that is why Tsunami had an intense fear of tigers and went fishing in the Capitol fish tank- I'm really sorry to those who got a shock LOL ] and shortly after TFCRP with Warblercrown. I'm in my second year in middle school, and I constantly find it both hilarious and strange that I might be talking to high school people LMAO [ note to self: pix you're going off topic ] When I was about 10 and 1/2, my mum told me to slow down my activity on Scratch since we were moving to a new country. Guess what I did? Make it rise to a peak. Basically I'm not meant to be here this much, but I still am. My family is that kind that is mostly neutral but leaning to against LGBT+ stuff, and when I dropped a hint that I also kinda liked girls [ :flushed: :embarrassment: ] my mum basically told me 'you're making no sense. You haven't dated / had y'know / been in a romantic relationship' and told me I was a doofus for thinking so. And to why I randomly jumped to TFCRP: I did a grave rule-breaking in THG. Sure, I apologized after it, but I never really went any further than apologizing, y'know? I was really mad at myself for giving up Tsunami just so I could have a character in the next round, and smack down threw Finn into a battle. By the time I realized it, he was really close to d3ath, and I started sorta cheating,, To this day I wonder whether the battle system was implemented after I tried to squash 10000 attacks into a comment. I'm really, really sorry to Fern's player, I did a huge wrongdoing back then and just barely scraped the surface with my apology. I ran to TFCRP out of cowardice - there was a reason why I graylisted Monte, but I won't include that here for privacy's sake. 0 - - - 0 WHY I REALLY JOINED TFCRP Yep. It's out there. Pixie, who has ran through 3 characters in the span of 2.5 years, joined because I was too scared to stay in THG. Let me admit it - I immediately felt like I didn't fit in. It's nothing against the people nor the community or anything, y'all are awesome :D 2 years later, after rejoining THG, I've never realized it but I just missed it /sooo/ much. I love TFCRP and everything, everyone's really nice and chill though, so I must really thank you guys for not asking questions [ those of whom knew me ] and welcomed me so well <33 If you get to the end, and I somehow end up leaving for a short / long period, I fully intend to complete Sparkpaw's training before I do so. I know I've disappointed so many people in the responsibilities and opportunities they gave me [ also why I was so grateful for the admin helper chance <3 ] 0 - - - 0 A THANK YOU To the positives - Scratch and all the roleplays I've been in has given me /so/ much. Every single person has contributed in some way - if you want me to tell you how you've made an impact on my IRL life, feel free to drop a comment!! Really need to start spreading my gratitude just in case <333 - Writing: I'd grown up in an Asian country despite being sorta half half [ 3/4 1/4 ], and I was absolutely horrible at English. Three years on, I aced my tests and got a 100% of storywriting and literature. So thank you to , who basically taught me how to RP, and and so many more who's writing inspired me to expand my vocabulary.