oh jesus. updates: my mom and i have gotten a better relationship, were still working on it tho. my dad and i are okay. still doing some sh and starving but ive gotten better! but.. the main reason im making a new vent is below. so ive had a bf of 2 months. met him online, did zoom, and then got his pinterest and stuff. eventually after a week or 2 he asked me to show myself (if you know what im tryna get at.). i was rlly uncomfortable but i did it anyways bc he threatened me that hed break up with me and i was too blind to see that he was a bad person. we had gotten into some arguments later on. and after those, he seemed rlly nice. but then he got on my case for having a male bsf. then.. started getting on me for KNOWING GUYS. i didnt think much of it. eventually.. he sent me these messages (copy and pasted and edited to avoid moderation): Oh I’ve had one** sense we been tg Sense I started talking w u she’s very loyal she unadded every one for me she’s from uk she’s 16 she does it w me Every day w me on face time We been tg for 1 month now (weve been tg 2 months) I love her so much Shes sqlrt5 so much and shes so "big" word that starts with a t (edited) and we play Roblox every day we fall asleep on the phone tg And she has absolutely 0 Friends but yeah we getting married I just used u bc u a whorse (i edited this bc moderation) who lets dudes do anything too u And u a not loyal u have other dudes on your phone The moment u didn’t let me hear your voice I knew it "and the moment" "u let him touch it" "at school (aka consensual touching if u dont get it)" u don’t deserve a loyal bf goofy "but yeah" "I WILL SURE HAVE FUN"
**= he means he had one gf other than me without my knowledge (cheating) i was rlly hurt by this. and he said she found her 1 month after we had gotten together. ONE MONTH. and to add on, he had used me for my body...like so many of my other relationships. i thought this was real but.. apparently not. he said he truly loved me.. but all he wanted from me was my figure. this was the same guy i had told so many secrets i never even told my parents. and here i am. on my bed. a sobbing mess. im just so much more hurt now. im so tired. i wanna cry. i wanna hurt him. i wanna kms. i wanna run away. i wanna hide. i wanna do so many things. i dont think im as okay as i make myself seem. i need someones shoulder to cry on.. please.
