I’m a pretty horrible person. That’s probably the reason I just keep pushing people away. No one visits my account all that much. I guess it’s a little selfish I want all this attention. It’s not like I deserve it. People who I thought were my friends don’t really see me as friends. Maybe I’m just an annoying afterthought!! Some people I just I just wish would go away and never come back. In more ways that one. I kinda just wish more people would love me. Because it sometimes doesn’t feel that way at all Even my own family doesn’t seem to notice that their killing my will to live. I feel like maybe I’m just doing this for pity points. Or something dumb like that. I’ve come out to my sister and mom and brother. My sister more than once About my gender. But I guess they just think I’m a girl no matter what. My sister says she accepts me but she always ends up forgetting after a while. It’s not like she cares enough to do anything about it. I feel like my real life friends don’t even like me. I feel Honestly pretty bad about myself. So I just go and look at the people who make my blood boil, maybe I’m just jealous of them for their large amount of traction. Sometimes I just wanna spit out how much I hate them. But I don’t wanna make waves so I just keep quiet. I just am starting to boil over the edge. I want other people to just Hurt sometimes. Sometimes I just wanna attempt… you know… and see what would happen. Is that the only way people will pity me, love me, or feel sorry? I dunno. I wish the world would end. Quickly. And everyone, especially the people I hate would just die. Including me. Maybe that asteroid in 2029 will hit and everything will be over!!! Even people I used to consider people I like online are Starting to Make my blood boil. I wish everyone would shut up about certain things. Sometimes I think I still have something to live for but I think that’s just a lie at times. I think I’m not good enough to achieve anything all that great. My parents threaten my all the time. When I was 4 it was “I’ll crush your skull” When I was 8 it was “I’ll call child services, and they’ll see something wrong with you!!” When I was 10 i don’t even remember. Sometimes it’s I can’t even remember. They used to hurt me. But now I think my brains just turning to mush living here. Sometimes when I’m feeling really horrible. Sick. They don’t care. Especially on a school day. It’s always suck it up. Suck it up Even when my guts feel like they’re in so much pain I can’t even think and the sweat is beading on my forehead. Even if I feel so congested I can’t breathe properly. I bet if I ever have to go to a hospital it’ll be my fault for not eating properly or something of the sort. It’s not like I watch my health either. I try so hard and I put in an effort and they never seem to realize it. All they do is pick out everything I’m doing wrong. And then after they make me cry so much my eyes are practically dry. I usually have to apologize. After being called a “burden” sometimes they even swear at me, even though to them, swearing is practically equal to starting a demonic ritual if I do it. Even if it was a typo. I’m scared of them. I don’t wanna travel with them. Being away from them is a relief. I hope they just stay where they travel forever sometimes. Sometimes I’m even scared of my dad. And he’s supposed to be the fun one. The internet used to be where I could just be happy. People would like me! AHAHAHAHHAAH BUT NOW IVE JUST PUSHED EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING AWAY!!!!!!!! I JUST WISH THE WORLD WOULD END ALREADY AND EVERYTHING WOULD JUST DIE! IM SCARED OF MY OWN FAMILY!!! THATS FUNNY AHAHAHHAHSHA MAYBE IM JUST DOING JT ALL FOR ATTENTION!!’ AHAHHAHASB NO ONES EVER GONNA TAKE ME SERIOUSLY UNTIL I FXXXING DIE THEN EVERYONE WILL REGRET BEING A SXXXHEAD TO ME!!!! HAHSBDBJDFIOFKCJDIE! I JUST WANT TO DIE IN A QUICK PAINLESS WAY XDDDDDDD
WHO CARESSSSSSS
