Alex: Dairy does not go in the leaf juice!!! Alex: Tuberculosis is like... the Club 27 of writers. Me: Tuberculosis Gaaang!! Alex: OH MY GOD-- Me: I'm a terrible person ::) Alex: Yeah, we know Me: WELL YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY IT LIKE THAT-- Econ teacher: Who would the leader of the school be? Monica: Me :) Teacher: ...Okay, you guys need to review. It's Mrs. Washington (the principal). Alright, who would the leader of this city be? Monica: I'm cold!!! Half the class: The mayor! Teacher: Right, the mayor! Who would be the leader of the state? ???: Joe Biden!! ...oh wait-- Law enforcement teacher: If you're looking at a homicide crime scene, evidence might be inside AND outside, why is that? ???: Uh... It's a homicide, so... HOME... and... out-CIDE... Teacher: ...Not quite what I was looking for. Alex: *starts choking* Literature teacher: Are you okay?? Alex: I choked on a fruit snack...... I almost DIED... Me: Oh my god- Alex: I have fruit gummy in my respiratory system!! Alex: I think the fruit gummy went to my head... Me: You're taking psychic damage from the fruit gummy. Alex: WHAT-- Payge: It's already in a sniffigable line!! Alex: People have been calling me Freddy Krueger all morning. I've been here for 30 MINUTES. Like, I've been getting texts and stuff! Me: If you didn't want people to call you Freddy Krueger, maybe you shouldn't have dressed up like Freddy Krueger! Alex: I'm not dressed like Freddy Krueger! Gabrielle: I mean, you ARE wearing the outfit. The shirt, the hat... Alex: This is a cowboy hat, not a fedora! Freddy Krueger has a fedora! Me: It's close enough! Gabrielle: I'm sorry, my Red Dead Redemption hyperfixation is making me just. ??? Me: Cowboy Freddy Krueger. Instead of knives for fingers, he has little tiny pistols. Gabrielle: One hand is tiny guns, the other is just individual tiny horses. Me: Each finger is a hoof! Gabrielle: What would he name the horse? Me: ...Freddy Jr. Shantae: *starts playing the Jeopardy theme* Jaylin: What is THAT?! Shantae: It's Jeopardy! Jaylin: That's not Jeopardy! Shantae: It's PIZZAZZ Jeopardy. Jaylin: We don't want that. Shantae: ...Jaylin, you need a little sugar in your life. >The Adventures of Alex, Gabrielle, and Rex: Thanksgiving Slideshow< Literature teacher: Today, you're gonna be making a Google Slides presentation about what Thanksgiving side is the best, and tomorrow we'll be having a debate about it, and you'll present your slideshows. Alex: Okay, what side are we doing? Gabrielle: Mac and cheese...? Me: Ooh, yeah, let's do mac and cheese. Alex: Macaroni... Alex & Gabrielle: ...with the chicken strips... Me: *does the weird little "auh" sound* All 3 of us: *giggling* Alex: I WASN'T EXPECTING THAT SO SOON- Me: I-- It was an impulse, it just sorta happened! It's like, hardwired into my brain! Me: I'm tempted to put Arin Hanson's mac and cheese tangent as supporting evidence. Gabrielle: Oh my god, yes. Me: OH!! I should have "macaroni with the chicken strips" as supporting evidence, too! Alex: Alright, I'll work on our Dolly Parton slide. Me: Oh, should I just write "Supporting Evidence (/j)" as the title for mine? Alex: No, no, put "Supporting Evidence (/srs)" Me: Okay- *giggles* Gabrielle: GARFIELD!! *laughs* Alex: Huh?? Me: Garfield, are you /srs, or /j?! Alex: Aw, man... I tried to put a gif of Dolly Parton on that slide, but it won't move. Me: Hold on... Alex: What? What're you doing? Me: I'm just-- I'm gonna have Dolly Parton talk to mac and cheese. Alex: What?? Me: *puts a png of cartoon macaroni on the slide, makes it spin, and adds text that says "hello mac and cheese" and "hello dolly parton"* There we go ::) All three of us: *laughing* Me: *accidentally adds weird 3D emoji to the background of every slide* Alex: What the-?! *laughs* Gabrielle: What IS that?? Me: I ACCIDENTALLY-- Alex: What happened? Why is it on every slide?? Me: *laughing* I'M SO SORRY-- I-- I ACCIDENTALLY CLICKED "ADD TO THEME" Gabrielle: *laughs* Me: I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN-- Gabrielle: Y'know what? I'm gonna use one of those really ugly 3D emojis. Me: Oh, you mean those German ones? Gabrielle: Yeah! (a few minutes of us giggling at German 3D emojis pass) Gabrielle: Oh my god, look at this one. *shows Alex and me a German emoji with its eyes looking in two different directions, a kissy face, and a heart next to it* Me: Oh, Jesus-- Alex: Oh my god-- Gabrielle: I wanna use it, but I don't know where to put it!! Maybe I'll just put it next to a picture of mac and cheese on its own slide. Me: Oh!! You should caption it with "me when i see the mac and cheese" Gabrielle: *laughs* I'm gonna do that, I'm gonna have it fade in on top of the picture of macaroni and cheese.
Gabrielle: Rex, Rex, Rex, go to the fifth slide. Me: *goes to the 5th slide and laughs bc there's just a huge, low quality image of macaroni and cheese on top of the text* Why is there just a picture of mac and cheese?? Gabrielle: No, no, no, no, put it in slideshow mode :) Me: Okay... *Mac and cheese jpeg slowly grows onto the screen on top of the text* Me: WH-- HAHAHA Me, looking at Gabrielle's "me when i see the mac and cheese" slide: ...I don't know why, but I wanna put a picture of Eric Andre on this slide. Gabrielle: Oh my god-- Me: I'm just gonna have him grow onto the screen like the macaroni image, but it's gonna be really fast. Eric Andre jumpscare. >BONUS!! Quotes from my family members over Thanksgiving break!< Cousin: I have two cavities! :D Uncle: ...That's not something to be proud of, buddy. My dad: *says something, i forgor what it was :skull:* Little brother: You read that off'a Google, didn't you. Dad: What? Mom: *laughs* A Buzzfeed article? Me: He read it on Wikipedia! Little bro: HAHA- Me: Nah, nah, nah, he WROTE the Wikipedia article!! >And now, back to our regularly scheduled program.< Payge: I watched it. Me: What, Inside Job? Payge: Yep. Me: YOOOO did you like it??? Payge: Yeah! Reagan made me re-realize how bisexual I am.
