He faced the door resignedly. He deserved it, he knew that. He deserved the handcuffs clasped around his wrists, and the pair of guards standing behind him. He didn’t have to like it, but he accepted that it was perfectly fair. There was a moment of silence. The Supreme Minister cleared his throat. “Do you have any, er, last words?” he said. The criminal considered that. “If you were to be found to be, ah, sufficiently sorry for your crime, it might soften the hearts of those who condemn you and convince them to give you a lighter sentence.” the Supreme Minister continued, fiddling with his spectacles. The criminal laughed out loud. “Very generous of them, I’m sure.” He paused, thinking over what he wanted to say. “Actually, I did want to say a few words.” The Supreme Minister brightened. “Yes?” The criminal smirked at him. “I don’t regret what I did one single bit,” he said, licking a few crumbs of chocolate off his lips. The Supreme Minister opened and closed his mouth several times before collecting himself. “Ah, ah, very well then. I hereby sentence this man to death by black hole for stealing The Most High and Honored Supreme Minister's chocolate cupcakes.” He shook his head sadly. “I must say, I’m disappointed in you,” he said to the criminal. “I had hopes that you might repent of your hideous crime.” The criminal shrugged. “Oh, well,” he said breezily. “Death happens to everyone, sooner or later, and I enjoyed the cupcakes while they lasted.” One of the guards moved to open the door, but the criminal jangled his handcuffs to signal that he wanted him to stop. “If I may…I’d like to open the door myself,” he said. The guards glared at him suspiciously, but the Supreme Minister waved them aside irritably. “Oh, let the man do what he wants. It’s not as though he can escape; I personally locked all the other doors.” The guard who had been going to open the door grunted and unlocked the cuffs. The criminal shook his hands a few times to get the blood circulating, then he reached for the knob and entered. The door swung shut behind him with an ominous thud. He was in a tiny room. Directly opposite him was a second door, this one made of very thick metal. As soon as he opened that door, the black hole outside would suck him inside. Formerly, this room had been a utility closet, but due to an accident involving a sentient teddy bear and quantum physics it had become a doorway to a black hole. He took a deep breath. “No point in delaying it,” he said, and opened the door. Everything ceased. There was absolute silence. Was this death, he wondered? Then a voice sliced the dark silence open like a papercut. “...Sir? I’ve found another one.”
