○ our demonic comrade returns. ◝◜◝◜◝◜◝◜◝◜◝◜◝◜◝◜◝◜◝◜◝◜◝◜ in the two weeks that had followed the disaster with the human pyramids, avior had threatened to file a lawsuit against fred finch no less than thirty-six times. "it's fine, really, it is!" arin kept insisting. "i'll miss out on some of the activities, sure, but that's it! it's just a broken hand!" it was NOT fine at all, in avior's opinion. fred finch was responsible for this, and therefore fred finch ought to pay the price! "he *did* pay the price, though," arin had told him patiently. "he paid for that girl's dental work and he came up to me and apologized personally for what happened. isn't that good enough?" it was not good enough. not at all. and anyway, avior would have liked nothing more than to file a lawsuit against someone at least once before he died. that would be so, so, cool. he wished something exciting would happen. the first few weeks at xiphoid were always mind-numbingly boring. there was lake day on the thirty-first, but that wasn't for another two days, and he needed something to happen *now*. he had already bothered marcus and hung out with arin and destiny and criticized bradley a thousand times. he had gone in the school, in the infirmary, in the weapons field, in the extreme office for misbehavation (more times than he'd like to admit), everywhere there was to go at xiphoid. in fact, the only thing he *hadn't* done was go to alfonso's mansion! now, that was a splendid idea. he was going to visit alfonso today. and so he set off to the edge of the forest with a newfound spring in his step that was quickly smothered when he was accosted by none other than marcus gill. "why are you going into the forest?" marcus asked, arms folded and a look on his face that said he wasn't going to let avior go anywhere. "i'm going to drink tea with the magician in the mansion we found last year," avior said. thing was, when you got involved in things beyond your own wildest fantasies, you could be completely honest about them and everyone would still think you were lying. "no you aren't," marcus scowled. ha! dumb[][][]. "i'm going to visit my lover," avior said. "you don't have a lover!" marcus protested. "yes, i do. she's your mom," marcus then got a very smug look on his face. "which one of them?" dammit. marcus was always going to be his ruination. avior paused a moment, then said, "why do you want to know that? you have a filthy, filthy mind," "why do you have to be so horrible?" valid question. avior would not be answering that. "that's no way to speak to your future stepdad," marcus fake (or perhaps real) gagged. "i'd kill you with my bare hands before i let that happen," "you watch your tone, young man!" avior said in a passable imitation of his own father. "no thanks. i'll say what i want to," "go to your room, you nasty little boy," avior commanded, and to his great surprise, marcus did indeed stalk away, muttering something undoubtedly befitting of a nasty little boy under his breath. marcus gill was such a sweet stepson. truly delightful. ⋘◦⋙ avior’s memory had served him well, and only once did he make a wrong turn and have to backtrack on the way to the mansion. he took the steps two at a time, as always, and dusted off the front of his black t-shirt before knocking on the mansion’s tall front doors with all the strength he could muster. the doors swung open, and there alfonso stood, this time in his own body rather than that of a small creature. he wore his purple robe adorned with gold and his human face like always. there was something strangely comforting about it. the entrance hall looked as it had the first time he had ever entered the mansion. how interesting. “hi?” avior called out uncertainly. alfonso had made no move to acknowledge him. perhaps he had gone blind. “hello? alfonso?” he tried again, stepping through the doorway. “it’s me. avior.” he did not like this. alfonso was behaving most peculiarly, and that was scary indeed. alfonso’s entire demeanor snapped at once, and he visibly relaxed into himself and said, “ah, yes, hello! come on in,” “would’ve come in even if you told me not to,” avior said. “oh, i know.” the doors behind him slammed shut and melted away into nothing, leaving behind a blank expanse of wall as the room whirled around him and shifted into the sitting room with the fireplace and the teakettle. avior did not react to this— it was an older trick of alfonso’s, one that he had seen many a time before. “why don’t you brew us some tea?” alfsono suggested, settling into his most favored armchair, the one with the highest back and most brilliant shade of scarlet (hadn’t it been maroon before?). avior set about brewing the tea, a task that had become familiar over the many hours he had spent with alfsono.
once the tea was poured into cups, he carried them and the teapot over to the chairs and set them down carefully on the table, then sank into the chair he preferred, the one where his feet could actually reach the floor. “what brings you here today?” alfonso asked, sipping his tea even though clouds of steam still wafted from its surface. avior shrugged. “dunno,” he said. “excellent. we will sit and do nothing, then.” and so the room fell into silence. “hey,” avior said after he felt enough time had passed and he had grown properly bored of doing nothing, “do you know what happens after we die?” alfonso’s left eyebrow sailed upwards. “why do you ask, boy? am i to know *everything*?” his tone was laced with amusement, and avior felt his cheeks burn. he hurriedly looked away and sipped his tea, which only scalded the back of his throat. “dunno,” he muttered, “it’s a stupid question,” “no, on the contrary, i admire your curiosity,” alfonso said. “i merely wonder: why not simply ask the reaper himself?” “there’s a grim reaper?” avior’s attention was fully captured now. “oh, yes. he calls himself jeremy. bit of a downer, but a nice guy, he is,” “wow,” avior breathed. “that’s pretty awesome,” “indeed,” alfonso smiled, the corners of his eyes creasing. “afraid to say, i cannot answer your query in full. however, there *is* an afterlife,” “what kind of afterlife?” “how am i supposed to know? not allowed in any of them, i am!” alfsono said impatiently. “rude,” avior said. “you are a nasty little boy,” alfonso remarked as though discussing the weather. “why do you want to know such things, anyway?” avior shrugged again, and again said “dunno,” “elaborate,” “i guess i’m just curious about it, because my brother almost died and then he probably won’t, but if he does die then i want to know where he is—“ “that’s very touching,” “—so i can avoid him when *i* die,” avior finished. “reasonable of you,” it WAS reasonable of him. archer was terrible! "is there a hell?" avior asked. alfonso merely smiled and put a long, bony finger to his lips. "that explains nothing at all!" avior said indignantly. "is there— blah, what's it called— reincarnation?" again alfonso put his finger to his lips. this was getting annoying. couldn't this man give him a straight answer for once? "your tea's grown cold," alfonso said. "you always forget to drink it," "it's not cold!" avior argued. "we've hardly been here long!" but when he picked up his teacup and dipped a finger into the murky tea within, he found that it had indeed gotten cold, in fact, so cold that it was as though the tea had been frozen into a block of ice and had only just melted down. but he would not give alfonso the satisfaction of being right, so he did not at all make a face as he sipped the icy tea and set the teacup back down on the table, then boldly said, "see? you're wrong. it's super hot. i basically just burned my face off," alfonso laughed, red eyes gleaming behind his golden spectacles. "if that's what you'd like to think," he said. ⋘◦⋙ the forest had gone quiet and still, and the air was thick and heavy as late summer afternoons always were. it was nice in the forest. avior did not know why fred finch was so adamant of the supposed danger the forest posed. avior had walked alone through it at all hours of the day and night and no harm had befallen him yet. take that, fred finch! avior was quite pleased with himself. he continued to have the upper hand over marcus, arin and destiny were wonderfully loyal friends, and it had been weeks since he had last had to deal with his parents and brother. life was going beautifully, and this moment in particular gleamed with promise of future glory. how incredible would it be, to pause time just for a minute and properly enjoy this perfection. too bad that was just fantasy-nonsense-thinking. he shook off the idea and continued on his way back to camp. so quiet was the forest that avior did not notice when it snapped entirely into dead silence, so still was the afternoon that he did not notice when the faint breeze the wind carried stopped in its entirety, so thick was the canopy of leaves overhead that he did not notice when the clouds above ceased their lazy drifting across the sky and stopped short in the air. for a heartbeat, or perhaps a hundred heartbeats, it was nearly as though time had stilled itself completely. avior did not notice this.
