I had the worst Valentine’s Day. My date promised to take me to your mom city, but instead they brought me to the dickies just down the block. My date had arranged for the cashier to give me a tricycle when we checked out, but the cashier was out sick and my date forgot their money so I had to pay for his/her nuke. We walked to the juicy ball restaurant, which is the cheapest place in town. A James Charles cover band played the same song over and over while we waited 1923464569802345984903429807590723572390725(69) hours for a table. I swore I even saw a monkey run across the floor while we were waiting. At that point I called things off. It wasn’t worth it to wait any longer for a lousy dog..
