people are always saying 'oh _ youre so mature!' or 'youre so much more mature than the other girls your age' and honestly im kind of sick of it. because they think that i did this to myself, which i guess i did but i literally grew up on this platform and on roblox for years. that's how im so mature, i lost friends, dealt with so much to the point where i wish i could tell this all to my parents and adults who tell me im mature, cause im not mature. I've just learned hard lessons and lost my childhood learning them. i had friends who came and went, but i will never forget cloud, apple, frosta, mecha, ash, and probably more, but those people were my rock for years. but cloud in particular is who im going to talk about. he was this nice man who opened my eyes to the mature roleplaying community. when he first met me, i was your typical cringy 'love me love me' annoying new roleplayer kid, but he took me in, showed me to his friend group, and they welcomed me like i was one of them. it was my first real friend group who cared no matter my differences, and no matter my age cause we were so scattered. we were friends for years, getting on and jumping into games and playing everyday when we could. but that all changed the day cloud got appointed to admin in a game, he turned so mature, we didn't understand him anymore. it hurt. so so bad to see him like this i didn't even recognize him. he was barely on, and when he was, he was in that game, not even doing much. this was when i had to let go of my first real friend then months after that, i lost all possible connection to group, then got betrayed by the only girl i trusted all im saying is, im not that mature. im still a child. i want to be a child. i don't want to have gone through this at such a young age. im still a kid and im going to still be one for years to come. and holy cow. cloud gave me abandonment issues without even realizing it. this really spiraled out, but i don't care. i needed to get that out
