IT’S NOT WHAT you’d think. It’s not easy living. It’s not worth it. I’m tired of living, everyone’s like, ‘Lia, do this! Lia, do that! Don’t have fun! Do this!’ Oh. My. Gosh. I’m sick of this. Every single day, I’m forced to go to school, forced to wake up early, forced to get good grades. Why can’t I get freedom? Never in my flipping life I expected such high expectations. From classmates as well, all the girls are beautiful blondes or brunettes. They look down upon me with pity and relief. Boys look at me in disgust as they snog their pretty barbies. I have thick, black hair, a million pimples and big, round, golden framed glasses. I don’t have any friends, none at all, no twists like ‘except one’. Nada. Zilch. Zero. Boys play me like a stup!d doll. They flirt. It’s really gross. How could one cope with this? I don’t know either. But I’m trying. I really am. It’s not that great being a girl who must live the way she is born. I know. I just know that all these other girls in my class does have some sort of insecurity. They don’t show it, but they do. No one is perfect. Not you, not me. We all have insecurities, it’s not funny when we laugh, you laugh at yourself as well. I’m the only girl who does show her insecurity at school. I’m not afraid of myself. If anything, I’m proud of it. It’s painful. Yes it is. We all know it. Everyone on instagram and TikTok and whatnot, they show their perfect selves. Who wants that? Actually, everyone. For fame. It’s not you. So why? I sat in my crammed bedroom, thinking about all this. No way I can do this anymore, I closed my eyes and lay still on my bed. I wondered how this all began in the first place. Was everything a lie? Would anything be real for once? Would everyone tell the truth? Because I don’t want to be the only one that’s real with others. And with the fact that no one is perfect, so why did people act like it? The main question which was bubbling around in my head was: Was my life a lie?
INFORMATION BEFORE READING + Themes: Slight Romance, Rant, Insecurities + Read at own risk! ✦ Entry for @xxAvs_iix’s writing comp!
